Baru dapat tahu dari seorang kawan bahawa tempat kerjaku akan menerima seorang pensyarah pelatih baru dan dia ditawarakan dengan tangga gaji P1 T15 iaitu dengan mulai Rm 48++.
berbanding dengan saya yang baru aje P1T5.... dengan beza yang lebih sedangkan aku dah ada kelulusan peringkat sarjana.Walhal, staff baru itu, baru nak pergi belajar buat ijazah sarjana.
Urrm... saya tidak cemburu dengan berapa gaji dia, cuma saya rasa majikan saya perlu sedar dan buat tindakan segera sebelum saya berfikir semula untuk berhijrah ke tempat lain... Saya cuma mahukan hak saya...
Ya Allah, permudahkan urusan ini dan berilah aku kesabaran....
Thursday, 4 August 2011
Nabil menangis
Salam,
My dialogue with my 6 years son, Naim that had touched me deep.
Naim: Ibu, tadikan Nabil menangis... in nursery...
Aku: kenapa Nabil nangis?
Naim: sebab dia rindukan ayah dia.
Aku: .....
Nabil is Naim's friend in his school. He had loss his father about a month ago. His father passed away in the Bukit Indah Mosque while entering the door for zuhur prayer. Suddenly he was collapsed and found died after few minutes due to heart attack. Very young father at age of early 30, maybe same age with my husband. The incident happened in front of his son, Nabil. Nabil was there when his father had the attack. Could you imagine how was his feeling. He was only 6.
2 weeks before the incident all parents form the school had an event whereby my husband and Nabil's late father were side by side taking photo for the event.
Not only myself, my husband, Naim and Najwa also affected by this loss.
Al-Fatihah to Nabil's father.
And I always remind my kids that, always Thank to Allah because Allah still want Daddy to be with us.
No matter what, we never know what will happen tomorrow...
Thank to Allah for giving me love that I could share it to my husband and family.
My dialogue with my 6 years son, Naim that had touched me deep.
Naim: Ibu, tadikan Nabil menangis... in nursery...
Aku: kenapa Nabil nangis?
Naim: sebab dia rindukan ayah dia.
Aku: .....
Nabil is Naim's friend in his school. He had loss his father about a month ago. His father passed away in the Bukit Indah Mosque while entering the door for zuhur prayer. Suddenly he was collapsed and found died after few minutes due to heart attack. Very young father at age of early 30, maybe same age with my husband. The incident happened in front of his son, Nabil. Nabil was there when his father had the attack. Could you imagine how was his feeling. He was only 6.
2 weeks before the incident all parents form the school had an event whereby my husband and Nabil's late father were side by side taking photo for the event.
Not only myself, my husband, Naim and Najwa also affected by this loss.
Al-Fatihah to Nabil's father.
And I always remind my kids that, always Thank to Allah because Allah still want Daddy to be with us.
No matter what, we never know what will happen tomorrow...
Thank to Allah for giving me love that I could share it to my husband and family.
Sunday, 22 August 2010
Finally...£500
Sedar tak sedar dalam kesibukan aku hendak mendapatkan sponsor for my conference, rupanya dah hampir sebulan aku tak menulis. walaupun banyak event yang berlaku, namun... masa tidak mengizinkan...
Alhamdulillah... setelah 'menghadap' DEKAN, Dundee Dental School, dapat jugak aku £500 untuk buat belanja persidangan yang akan aku hadiri.
Tapi nak menceritakan perjalannan mendapatkan sponsor ini... ADUH!!!!! it cut me really deep.
taubat, lepas ni kalau takde sponsor for my conference, I just pull-out.
Till now, I still dont know where I got the strenght to meet the DEAN. Maybe because I really need the money...Perhaps!
But that 10-15 minutes appointment was the tough moment that I had, and I will remember that moment forever. I can't really tell how the situation, but... again, it cut me really deep. I told to myself, I won't give up...!!! but then, the after all that I've been through, I won't dare to do it for the second time.
fews 'buzzing' dialogue between me and him...
it is very UNUSUAL for a student to email and meet me like this. (memanglah unusual, sebab aku dah cuba the usual way, but still negative response)
It is very UNUSUAL for taught degree to present their findings. We only concentrate on research students. (logikkah??? kalau maca tu, baik tak payah suruh MDSc student buat research....)
Can you tell me, why your SV want to send you to this ADEE conference which is unrelated to your topic; dentine sensitivity (blaa.. bla... aku jawab dan berdebat jugaklah ngan dia to justify my topic) pastu dia balas balik, I was surprised the organizer accept your abstract (of courselah abstract aku tu pioneer bidang tu yang tolong edit dan betulkan...lagipon SV aku bukan jenis buat kerja main cincai jer...)
paling aku sedih/pedih bila dia cakap
This topic is not Dundee Dental School's research interest..(bila dia dah cakap macam nie, aku tak boleh lah debate balik... aku hanya diam jer.) dalam hati aku, kalau student MDSc yang dia supervise nak present, agak2 takkan dia tak nak sponosr kot! marah! Geram! Hangin semua ada... maklumlah diorang punya research interest pasal TMJ/neuroscience/dental materials.
Bila sampai satu masa, dia kata takde duit, aku memBERANIkan diri... aku tanya, 'would you give me permission to ask for individual sponsorship from lecturers...? (aku dah siap list nama sapa aku nak minta tunjuk kat dier)
terbeliak mata dia.
setelah beberapa dialog lagi, akhirnya, dia kata dia akan bagi £500...
masa dia cakap dia nak bagi duit, tu... aku pulak jadi emosi. pergi menangis pulak depan dier (what ashamed).. masa tu aku cuma cakap 'TQ very much for that'.
After all, I'm partially funded. But, I'm not sure should I be happy???
May be I shouldn't. Because at the end of our dialogues, he said again
'I'm not cross with you or your email but I'm cross with your SV, because he didn't give clear guideline about attending/presenting in the conference.'
Pergh!!!! SV aku pulak yang nak disalahkan... sepatutnya dia marahkan aku punya course coordiantor yang tak berapa coordinate tu lah...
Apapun ini politik school. well, tak lama lagi aku akan report duty, perkara2 macam nie kena aku tempuh!
sebagai pengajaran hadisnya:
Aku dah bagitahu kat SV aku apa yang dean cakap, dan dengan selambar jer SV aku ckp... 'you enjoy ur stay in Amsterdam... Don't worry, I can deal with that'. Sambil tersenyum. I hope if he (the dean) bring this matter to him, he will be prepare.
Secondly, aku dah tulis complaint/email, supaya next year, dental school takkan buat same mistake like this year. They should have allocate some money. Give clear guideline so that it won't happen again to the next batch! Nasib lah wahai course coordinator. I'm sorry to do this, but I think it worth for that £20,800 tuition fees per year.
Lastly, my majikan, U***, sepatutnya batalkan ajer klause yang mengatakan kalau nak confirm jawatan, kena ada 'something' present or publish paper, kalau takde duit nak sponsor. Aci tak?
Finally, I will enjoy my stay in Amsterdam... :))
Alhamdulillah... setelah 'menghadap' DEKAN, Dundee Dental School, dapat jugak aku £500 untuk buat belanja persidangan yang akan aku hadiri.
Tapi nak menceritakan perjalannan mendapatkan sponsor ini... ADUH!!!!! it cut me really deep.
taubat, lepas ni kalau takde sponsor for my conference, I just pull-out.
Till now, I still dont know where I got the strenght to meet the DEAN. Maybe because I really need the money...Perhaps!
But that 10-15 minutes appointment was the tough moment that I had, and I will remember that moment forever. I can't really tell how the situation, but... again, it cut me really deep. I told to myself, I won't give up...!!! but then, the after all that I've been through, I won't dare to do it for the second time.
fews 'buzzing' dialogue between me and him...
it is very UNUSUAL for a student to email and meet me like this. (memanglah unusual, sebab aku dah cuba the usual way, but still negative response)
It is very UNUSUAL for taught degree to present their findings. We only concentrate on research students. (logikkah??? kalau maca tu, baik tak payah suruh MDSc student buat research....)
Can you tell me, why your SV want to send you to this ADEE conference which is unrelated to your topic; dentine sensitivity (blaa.. bla... aku jawab dan berdebat jugaklah ngan dia to justify my topic) pastu dia balas balik, I was surprised the organizer accept your abstract (of courselah abstract aku tu pioneer bidang tu yang tolong edit dan betulkan...lagipon SV aku bukan jenis buat kerja main cincai jer...)
paling aku sedih/pedih bila dia cakap
This topic is not Dundee Dental School's research interest..(bila dia dah cakap macam nie, aku tak boleh lah debate balik... aku hanya diam jer.) dalam hati aku, kalau student MDSc yang dia supervise nak present, agak2 takkan dia tak nak sponosr kot! marah! Geram! Hangin semua ada... maklumlah diorang punya research interest pasal TMJ/neuroscience/dental materials.
Bila sampai satu masa, dia kata takde duit, aku memBERANIkan diri... aku tanya, 'would you give me permission to ask for individual sponsorship from lecturers...? (aku dah siap list nama sapa aku nak minta tunjuk kat dier)
terbeliak mata dia.
setelah beberapa dialog lagi, akhirnya, dia kata dia akan bagi £500...
masa dia cakap dia nak bagi duit, tu... aku pulak jadi emosi. pergi menangis pulak depan dier (what ashamed).. masa tu aku cuma cakap 'TQ very much for that'.
After all, I'm partially funded. But, I'm not sure should I be happy???
May be I shouldn't. Because at the end of our dialogues, he said again
'I'm not cross with you or your email but I'm cross with your SV, because he didn't give clear guideline about attending/presenting in the conference.'
Pergh!!!! SV aku pulak yang nak disalahkan... sepatutnya dia marahkan aku punya course coordiantor yang tak berapa coordinate tu lah...
Apapun ini politik school. well, tak lama lagi aku akan report duty, perkara2 macam nie kena aku tempuh!
sebagai pengajaran hadisnya:
Aku dah bagitahu kat SV aku apa yang dean cakap, dan dengan selambar jer SV aku ckp... 'you enjoy ur stay in Amsterdam... Don't worry, I can deal with that'. Sambil tersenyum. I hope if he (the dean) bring this matter to him, he will be prepare.
Secondly, aku dah tulis complaint/email, supaya next year, dental school takkan buat same mistake like this year. They should have allocate some money. Give clear guideline so that it won't happen again to the next batch! Nasib lah wahai course coordinator. I'm sorry to do this, but I think it worth for that £20,800 tuition fees per year.
Lastly, my majikan, U***, sepatutnya batalkan ajer klause yang mengatakan kalau nak confirm jawatan, kena ada 'something' present or publish paper, kalau takde duit nak sponsor. Aci tak?
Finally, I will enjoy my stay in Amsterdam... :))
Wednesday, 28 July 2010
How I survived- part 2
entry ni dah lama tulis cuma tak post jer... terlupa hehhe...
Assalamualaikum...
This time let’s share my birth experience in TelagaSembilan hospital Ninewells Hospitals Dundee. This is among the best Hospital in Britain and first in Scotland. Almaklumlah, university hospital with all the researchs and new technology equipped.
It already almost 4 months, but I never too late to share good things, tough!
came to hospital. At that time, I had
irregular contraction pain every
5-10 minutes with ‘show’.
But, after waiting about 1 hour
with very entertaining drinks
‘air kosong sejuk berais’ on my bed, the nice Chinese Malaysian Doctor
asked me to go back and wait for water break.
So, we went home and hoping and waiting… waiting and waiting for water break. That night I didn’t sleep well because I’m in labour pain.
Masa nie berdoalah macam-macam, call mak-mak mertua di Malaysia, minta permudahkan dan ampun dosa-dosaku. Dah hari kedua sakit, berdramalah kat kaki my husband, minta ampun kat dia, pasal apa dah sakit + ada show, tapi tak bersalin-salin nie. Maklumlah anak-anak yang sebelum nie, sakit kejap, terus bersalin. The third one was totally different experience.
My bed for the second time I went to the hospital with pain but without leaking or water break.
This time Gwen, the midwife timed my contraction. Siap tengok jam berapa kerap dan berapa panjang my contraction.
Pastu, berlaku conversation ini antara aku dan Gwen.
Gwen : where do you stay ? (intro dia nak suruh aku balik)
Me: Brown Street, Dundee.
Gwen: Oo!! It just about 5-10 minutes from here. (dalam hati aku.. aku dah sakit ni, ko nak suruh aku balik gak ker…)
Silent…
...
...
...
Me: yeah, it’s near but we don’t have car. We took taxi. (harapan aku supaya aku boleh stay kat bed ni, sampai bersalin)
Gwen: I won’t ask you to leave if you don’t want to. But, we need to make sure this bed in not occupied. Err… Maybe you can go and have a drink or take a walk… It could encourage labour.
Me: A walk!!! (giler apa aku dah sakit2 mcm ni nak suruh aku jenjalan lagi…yang ni aku cakap dlm hati jer lah…).
At the same time I tried to convince her that I knew it’s time already. Almaklumlah my second baby, sakit takde langsung. Ada ‘show’ pagi, pastu ketuban pecah kat katil labour room, tak sampai beberapa minit pastu aku bersalin. Dalam keadaan nurse kat Msia waktu tu, tried to clean the floor, tetiba je Najwa dah nak kuar… kelam-kabut dibuatnya, nasib baik suami ada tolong dia.
So dengan hati yang duka + sedey.. aku pon berjalan lah ke café hospital dalam keadaan sakit-sakit tue.
So, lepas minum-minum share hot chocolate with my husband, we decided to just sit in the hospital foyer/main entrance. I sat, then a minutes after that...JENG! JENG! JENG!
my water broke…at around pukul 7.15 malam. Ppergh!!! I’m wet already. And the contraction now more intense and it was URGING…
Maka, berlari-larilah my husband cari wheelchair, kat basement area nak kena naik turun lift lah pulak, tapi aku cakap ‘tak payah!!! Dah tak sempat dah nie… baik jalan jer.’
Masa sakit datang, Tuhan je yang tahu… aku sangat-sangat takut ‘terbersalin’ kat pintu hospital… macam kes kat England dulu.
dan berjalanlah kami di lorong ini....
JAUH WEI>>>...
Alhamdulillah, sempat gak sampai kat labour room.
The photo was taken 10 mintes before I gave birth to Nawal. Masa ni dah tenang skit, bak kata Gwen midwife yang sambut Nawal “CALM before STORM”
At 19:59 Nawal was born. Alhamdulillah….
Bersambung... part 3.
...dan Allah Maha Pengasih.
Assalamualaikum...
Dalam kesibukan mencari sponsor untuk persidanganku dan buat masa sekarang aku masih menanti... Satu pun belum pasti...
...
ALLAH Maha Pengasih.
walaupun disaat akhir ini, rezekinya kepada aku sekeluarga tetap ada.
Alhamdulillah, sejak balik dari Borong barang quuen-anne hari tu, my husband's blog tak henti-henti terima tempahan barang-barang. Sesuatu yang tak pernah di jangka langsung.
Dalam masa 2 minggu, at least dah cover tiket kapal terbang aku pergi-balik Edinburgh-Amsterdam.
Alhamdulillah.
Apapun sandarkan pada Allah. Kalau sandar pada diri sendiri, kita manusia memang lemah. tak mampu untuk menanggung semuanya.
Dalam kesibukan mencari sponsor untuk persidanganku dan buat masa sekarang aku masih menanti... Satu pun belum pasti...
...
ALLAH Maha Pengasih.
walaupun disaat akhir ini, rezekinya kepada aku sekeluarga tetap ada.
Alhamdulillah, sejak balik dari Borong barang quuen-anne hari tu, my husband's blog tak henti-henti terima tempahan barang-barang. Sesuatu yang tak pernah di jangka langsung.
Dalam masa 2 minggu, at least dah cover tiket kapal terbang aku pergi-balik Edinburgh-Amsterdam.
Alhamdulillah.
Apapun sandarkan pada Allah. Kalau sandar pada diri sendiri, kita manusia memang lemah. tak mampu untuk menanggung semuanya.
Sunday, 25 July 2010
I won't give up!!!
Assalamualaikum...
Selepas membaca ini minggu lalu:
Puan, permohonan puan untuk pembentangan pembiayaan kertas kerja tidak dapat diproses kerana mengikut syarat2 dalam buku panduan cuti belajar USIM (merujuk kpd Pekeliling Pentadbiran Bil. 3 tahun 2008, KPTM, permohonan terbuka kpd staf cuti belajar yang melanjutkan pengajian di peringkat Ph.D sahaja. Saya juga telah menghubungi pihak KPTM utk mengesahkan syarat2 tersebut.
Aku kata I won't give up!!!
Tadi dengan sungguh-sungguh aku cuba kalau boleh nak dapatkan jugak peruntukkan dari USIM. Malangnya, bila di belek-belek syarat2 penyelidikan dan pembentangan persidangan, ini yang aku jumpa.
Kakitangan sambilan dan kakitangan akademik yang bercuti belajar tidak layak untuk memohon geran ini.
PERGH!!! dalam klausa mana yang aku nak pakai sekarang nie. Memang takde peruntukkan untuk orang yang buat Master. Baru je ingat nak apply direct dengan TNC... kalau aku hantar permohonan aku, sure reject. 'dah terang lagikan bersuluh'.
tertekan!!!! Cuba lagi kuatkan semangat diri. I won't give up but
NO BUDGET! maybe KEDEKS... (pinjam perkataan kawan).
Plan seterusnya... Tunggu Dekan Dundee Dental School and Hospital balik cuti2 Summer lagi 2 minggu. Nak gi ngadap dier seperti mana yang SVku sarankan...
by the way, SV ku tengah sakit lagi kot... Lung Infection lepas balik IADR, Spain. Dia pun belum comment my poster draft yang ke2.
Please Doakan saya. Semoga dimurahkan rezeki saya...
Selepas membaca ini minggu lalu:
Puan, permohonan puan untuk pembentangan pembiayaan kertas kerja tidak dapat diproses kerana mengikut syarat2 dalam buku panduan cuti belajar USIM (merujuk kpd Pekeliling Pentadbiran Bil. 3 tahun 2008, KPTM, permohonan terbuka kpd staf cuti belajar yang melanjutkan pengajian di peringkat Ph.D sahaja. Saya juga telah menghubungi pihak KPTM utk mengesahkan syarat2 tersebut.
Aku kata I won't give up!!!
Tadi dengan sungguh-sungguh aku cuba kalau boleh nak dapatkan jugak peruntukkan dari USIM. Malangnya, bila di belek-belek syarat2 penyelidikan dan pembentangan persidangan, ini yang aku jumpa.
Kakitangan sambilan dan kakitangan akademik yang bercuti belajar tidak layak untuk memohon geran ini.
PERGH!!! dalam klausa mana yang aku nak pakai sekarang nie. Memang takde peruntukkan untuk orang yang buat Master. Baru je ingat nak apply direct dengan TNC... kalau aku hantar permohonan aku, sure reject. 'dah terang lagikan bersuluh'.
tertekan!!!! Cuba lagi kuatkan semangat diri. I won't give up but
I sakit hati sungguh lah...
Patutnya universiti kat Malaysia nie ranking rendah berbanding dengan Thailand dan Singapore. Ini sebabnya.NO BUDGET! maybe KEDEKS... (pinjam perkataan kawan).
Plan seterusnya... Tunggu Dekan Dundee Dental School and Hospital balik cuti2 Summer lagi 2 minggu. Nak gi ngadap dier seperti mana yang SVku sarankan...
by the way, SV ku tengah sakit lagi kot... Lung Infection lepas balik IADR, Spain. Dia pun belum comment my poster draft yang ke2.
Please Doakan saya. Semoga dimurahkan rezeki saya...
Tuesday, 20 July 2010
semangat baru
salam...
Semangat baru. merajuk + marah lelama pun tak guna. It won't change anything.
Lets move on...
Ini jalan yang dipilih, kalau sukar tentu ada hikmahnya kemudian hari. Yakin. Insyallah.
kalau pon diorang tak nak bayar persidanganku, takper lah... rezeki Allah ada di mana-mana. Bumi Allah luas. tapi bila terfikir banyak bende yang memang tak best.
1. Pasal tangga gaji dulu yang start dari P1T1
2. pasal claim yuran exam
3. pasal yang ini pula...
cuma, wishlist ku akan terkubur begitu saja...
banyak lagi yang tak habis beli nie...
Apa-apapun I will enjoy my stay in Amsterdam...
Puan, permohonan puan untuk pembentangan pembiayaan kertas kerja tidak dapat diproses kerana mengikut syarat2 dalam buku panduan cuti belajar USIM (merujuk kpd Pekeliling Pentadbiran Bil. 3 tahun 2008, KPTM, permohonan terbuka kpd staf cuti belajar yang melanjutkan pengajian di peringkat Ph.D sahaja. Saya juga telah menghubungi pihak KPTM utk mengesahkan syarat2 tersebut.
Semangat baru. merajuk + marah lelama pun tak guna. It won't change anything.
Lets move on...
Ini jalan yang dipilih, kalau sukar tentu ada hikmahnya kemudian hari. Yakin. Insyallah.
kalau pon diorang tak nak bayar persidanganku, takper lah... rezeki Allah ada di mana-mana. Bumi Allah luas. tapi bila terfikir banyak bende yang memang tak best.
1. Pasal tangga gaji dulu yang start dari P1T1
2. pasal claim yuran exam
3. pasal yang ini pula...
cuma, wishlist ku akan terkubur begitu saja...
banyak lagi yang tak habis beli nie...
Apa-apapun I will enjoy my stay in Amsterdam...
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