Menulis untuk kepuasan diri...

terbakar tak?

2011-08-04T22:10:00.000-07:00

Baru dapat tahu dari seorang kawan bahawa tempat kerjaku akan menerima seorang pensyarah pelatih baru dan dia ditawarakan dengan tangga gaji P1 T15 iaitu dengan mulai Rm 48++.

berbanding dengan saya yang baru aje P1T5.... dengan beza yang lebih sedangkan aku dah ada kelulusan peringkat sarjana.Walhal, staff baru itu, baru nak pergi belajar buat ijazah sarjana.

Urrm... saya tidak cemburu dengan berapa gaji dia, cuma saya rasa majikan saya perlu sedar dan buat tindakan segera sebelum saya berfikir semula untuk berhijrah ke tempat lain... Saya cuma mahukan hak saya...

Ya Allah, permudahkan urusan ini dan berilah aku kesabaran....

Nabil menangis

2011-08-04T21:35:00.000-07:00

Salam,

My dialogue with my 6 years son, Naim that had touched me deep.
Naim: Ibu, tadikan Nabil menangis... in nursery...
Aku: kenapa Nabil nangis?
Naim: sebab dia rindukan ayah dia.
Aku: .....

Nabil is Naim's friend in his school. He had loss his father about a month ago. His father passed away in the Bukit Indah Mosque while entering the door for zuhur prayer. Suddenly he was collapsed and found died after few minutes due to heart attack. Very young father at age of early 30, maybe same age with my husband. The incident happened in front of his son, Nabil. Nabil was there when his father had the attack. Could you imagine how was his feeling. He was only 6.

2 weeks before the incident all parents form the school had an event whereby my husband and Nabil's late father were side by side taking photo for the event.

Not only myself, my husband, Naim and Najwa also affected by this loss.

Al-Fatihah to Nabil's father.

And I always remind my kids that, always Thank to Allah because Allah still want Daddy to be with us.

No matter what, we never know what will happen tomorrow...

Thank to Allah for giving me love that I could share it to my husband and family.

Finally...£500

2010-08-22T21:55:00.000-07:00

Sedar tak sedar dalam kesibukan aku hendak mendapatkan sponsor for my conference, rupanya dah hampir sebulan aku tak menulis. walaupun banyak event yang berlaku, namun... masa tidak mengizinkan...

Alhamdulillah... setelah 'menghadap' DEKAN, Dundee Dental School, dapat jugak aku £500 untuk buat belanja persidangan yang akan aku hadiri.

Tapi nak menceritakan perjalannan mendapatkan sponsor ini... ADUH!!!!! it cut me really deep.
taubat, lepas ni kalau takde sponsor for my conference, I just pull-out.

Till now, I still dont know where I got the strenght to meet the DEAN. Maybe because I really need the money...Perhaps!

But that 10-15 minutes appointment was the tough moment that I had, and I will remember that moment forever. I can't really tell how the situation, but... again, it cut me really deep. I told to myself, I won't give up...!!! but then, the after all that I've been through, I won't dare to do it for the second time.

fews 'buzzing' dialogue between me and him...

it is very UNUSUAL for a student to email and meet me like this. (memanglah unusual, sebab aku dah cuba the usual way, but still negative response)

It is very UNUSUAL for taught degree to present their findings. We only concentrate on research students. (logikkah??? kalau maca tu, baik tak payah suruh MDSc student buat research....)

Can you tell me, why your SV want to send you to this ADEE conference which is unrelated to your topic; dentine sensitivity (blaa.. bla... aku jawab dan berdebat jugaklah ngan dia to justify my topic) pastu dia balas balik, I was surprised the organizer accept your abstract (of courselah abstract aku tu pioneer bidang tu yang tolong edit dan betulkan...lagipon SV aku bukan jenis buat kerja main cincai jer...)

paling aku sedih/pedih bila dia cakap
This topic is not Dundee Dental School's research interest..(bila dia dah cakap macam nie, aku tak boleh lah debate balik... aku hanya diam jer.) dalam hati aku, kalau student MDSc yang dia supervise nak present, agak2 takkan dia tak nak sponosr kot! marah! Geram! Hangin semua ada... maklumlah diorang punya research interest pasal TMJ/neuroscience/dental materials.

Bila sampai satu masa, dia kata takde duit, aku memBERANIkan diri... aku tanya, 'would you give me permission to ask for individual sponsorship from lecturers...? (aku dah siap list nama sapa aku nak minta tunjuk kat dier)
terbeliak mata dia.

setelah beberapa dialog lagi, akhirnya, dia kata dia akan bagi £500...

masa dia cakap dia nak bagi duit, tu... aku pulak jadi emosi. pergi menangis pulak depan dier (what ashamed).. masa tu aku cuma cakap 'TQ very much for that'.

After all, I'm partially funded. But, I'm not sure should I be happy???
May be I shouldn't. Because at the end of our dialogues, he said again
'I'm not cross with you or your email but I'm cross with your SV, because he didn't give clear guideline about attending/presenting in the conference.'
Pergh!!!! SV aku pulak yang nak disalahkan... sepatutnya dia marahkan aku punya course coordiantor yang tak berapa coordinate tu lah...

Apapun ini politik school. well, tak lama lagi aku akan report duty, perkara2 macam nie kena aku tempuh!

sebagai pengajaran hadisnya:
Aku dah bagitahu kat SV aku apa yang dean cakap, dan dengan selambar jer SV aku ckp... 'you enjoy ur stay in Amsterdam... Don't worry, I can deal with that'. Sambil tersenyum. I hope if he (the dean) bring this matter to him, he will be prepare.

Secondly, aku dah tulis complaint/email, supaya next year, dental school takkan buat same mistake like this year. They should have allocate some money. Give clear guideline so that it won't happen again to the next batch! Nasib lah wahai course coordinator. I'm sorry to do this, but I think it worth for that £20,800 tuition fees per year.

Lastly, my majikan, U***, sepatutnya batalkan ajer klause yang mengatakan kalau nak confirm jawatan, kena ada 'something' present or publish paper, kalau takde duit nak sponsor. Aci tak?

Finally, I will enjoy my stay in Amsterdam... :))

How I survived- part 2

2010-07-28T14:39:00.000-07:00

entry ni dah lama tulis cuma tak post jer... terlupa hehhe...

Assalamualaikum...

This time let’s share my birth experience in ~~TelagaSembilan hospital~~ Ninewells Hospitals Dundee. This is among the best Hospital in Britain and first in Scotland. Almaklumlah, university hospital with all the researchs and new technology equipped.

It already almost 4 months, but I never too late to share good things, tough!

OK! This was the bed when I first

came to hospital. At that time, I had

irregular contraction pain every

5-10 minutes with ‘show’.

But, after waiting about 1 hour

with very entertaining drinks

‘air kosong sejuk berais’ on my bed,
the nice Chinese Malaysian Doctor
asked me to go back and wait for water break.

So, we went home and hoping and waiting… waiting and waiting for water break. That night I didn’t sleep well because I’m in labour pain.

Masa nie berdoalah macam-macam, call mak-mak mertua di Malaysia, minta permudahkan dan ampun dosa-dosaku. Dah hari kedua sakit, berdramalah kat kaki my husband, minta ampun kat dia, pasal apa dah sakit + ada show, tapi tak bersalin-salin nie. Maklumlah anak-anak yang sebelum nie, sakit kejap, terus bersalin. The third one was totally different experience.

Well, see the date and time of the photo!
My bed for the second time I went to the hospital with pain but without leaking or water break.

This time Gwen, the midwife timed my contraction. Siap tengok jam berapa kerap dan berapa panjang my contraction.

Pastu, berlaku conversation ini antara aku dan Gwen.

Gwen : where do you stay ? (intro dia nak suruh aku balik)
Me: Brown Street, Dundee.
Gwen: Oo!! It just about 5-10 minutes from here. (dalam hati aku.. aku dah sakit ni, ko nak suruh aku balik gak ker…)

Silent…

...

...

...

Me: yeah, it’s near but we don’t have car. We took taxi. (harapan aku supaya aku boleh stay kat bed ni, sampai bersalin)

Gwen: I won’t ask you to leave if you don’t want to. But, we need to make sure this bed in not occupied. Err… Maybe you can go and have a drink or take a walk… It could encourage labour.

Me: A walk!!! (giler apa aku dah sakit2 mcm ni nak suruh aku jenjalan lagi…yang ni aku cakap dlm hati jer lah…).

At the same time I tried to convince her that I knew it’s time already. Almaklumlah my second baby, sakit takde langsung. Ada ‘show’ pagi, pastu ketuban pecah kat katil labour room, tak sampai beberapa minit pastu aku bersalin. Dalam keadaan nurse kat Msia waktu tu, tried to clean the floor, tetiba je Najwa dah nak kuar… kelam-kabut dibuatnya, nasib baik suami ada tolong dia.

So dengan hati yang duka + sedey.. aku pon berjalan lah ke café hospital dalam keadaan sakit-sakit tue.

So, lepas minum-minum share hot chocolate with my husband, we decided to just sit in the hospital foyer/main entrance. I sat, then a minutes after that...JENG! JENG! JENG!
my water broke…at around pukul 7.15 malam. Ppergh!!! I’m wet already. And the contraction now more intense and it was URGING…

Maka, berlari-larilah my husband cari wheelchair, kat basement area nak kena naik turun lift lah pulak, tapi aku cakap ‘tak payah!!! Dah tak sempat dah nie… baik jalan jer.’

Masa sakit datang, Tuhan je yang tahu… aku sangat-sangat takut ‘terbersalin’ kat pintu hospital… macam kes kat England dulu.

dan berjalanlah kami di lorong ini....

JAUH WEI>>>...

Alhamdulillah, sempat gak sampai kat labour room.

The photo was taken 10 mintes before I gave birth to Nawal. Masa ni dah tenang skit, bak kata Gwen midwife yang sambut Nawal “CALM before STORM”

At 19:59 Nawal was born. Alhamdulillah….

Bersambung... part 3.

...dan Allah Maha Pengasih.

2010-07-28T03:23:00.000-07:00

Assalamualaikum...

Dalam kesibukan mencari sponsor untuk persidanganku dan buat masa sekarang aku masih menanti... Satu pun belum pasti...

...
ALLAH Maha Pengasih.

walaupun disaat akhir ini, rezekinya kepada aku sekeluarga tetap ada.
Alhamdulillah, sejak balik dari Borong barang quuen-anne hari tu, my husband's blog tak henti-henti terima tempahan barang-barang. Sesuatu yang tak pernah di jangka langsung.

Dalam masa 2 minggu, at least dah cover tiket kapal terbang aku pergi-balik Edinburgh-Amsterdam.

Alhamdulillah.
Apapun sandarkan pada Allah. Kalau sandar pada diri sendiri, kita manusia memang lemah. tak mampu untuk menanggung semuanya.

I won't give up!!!

2010-07-25T16:06:00.000-07:00

Assalamualaikum...

Selepas membaca ini minggu lalu:

Puan, permohonan puan untuk pembentangan pembiayaan kertas kerja tidak dapat diproses kerana mengikut syarat2 dalam buku panduan cuti belajar USIM (merujuk kpd Pekeliling Pentadbiran Bil. 3 tahun 2008, KPTM, permohonan terbuka kpd staf cuti belajar yang melanjutkan pengajian di peringkat Ph.D sahaja. Saya juga telah menghubungi pihak KPTM utk mengesahkan syarat2 tersebut.

Aku kata I won't give up!!!

Tadi dengan sungguh-sungguh aku cuba kalau boleh nak dapatkan jugak peruntukkan dari USIM. Malangnya, bila di belek-belek syarat2 penyelidikan dan pembentangan persidangan, ini yang aku jumpa.

Kakitangan sambilan dan kakitangan akademik yang bercuti belajar tidak layak untuk memohon geran ini.

PERGH!!! dalam klausa mana yang aku nak pakai sekarang nie. Memang takde peruntukkan untuk orang yang buat Master. Baru je ingat nak apply direct dengan TNC... kalau aku hantar permohonan aku, sure reject. 'dah terang lagikan bersuluh'.

tertekan!!!! Cuba lagi kuatkan semangat diri. I won't give up but

I sakit hati sungguh lah...

Patutnya universiti kat Malaysia nie ranking rendah berbanding dengan Thailand dan Singapore. Ini sebabnya.

NO BUDGET! maybe KEDEKS... (pinjam perkataan kawan).

Plan seterusnya... Tunggu Dekan Dundee Dental School and Hospital balik cuti2 Summer lagi 2 minggu. Nak gi ngadap dier seperti mana yang SVku sarankan...
by the way, SV ku tengah sakit lagi kot... Lung Infection lepas balik IADR, Spain. Dia pun belum comment my poster draft yang ke2.

Please Doakan saya. Semoga dimurahkan rezeki saya...

semangat baru

2010-07-20T01:40:00.000-07:00

salam...

Puan, permohonan puan untuk pembentangan pembiayaan kertas kerja tidak dapat diproses kerana mengikut syarat2 dalam buku panduan cuti belajar USIM (merujuk kpd Pekeliling Pentadbiran Bil. 3 tahun 2008, KPTM, permohonan terbuka kpd staf cuti belajar yang melanjutkan pengajian di peringkat Ph.D sahaja. Saya juga telah menghubungi pihak KPTM utk mengesahkan syarat2 tersebut.

Semangat baru. merajuk + marah lelama pun tak guna. It won't change anything.
Lets move on...

Ini jalan yang dipilih, kalau sukar tentu ada hikmahnya kemudian hari. Yakin. Insyallah.

kalau pon diorang tak nak bayar persidanganku, takper lah... rezeki Allah ada di mana-mana. Bumi Allah luas. tapi bila terfikir banyak bende yang memang tak best.

1. Pasal tangga gaji dulu yang start dari P1T1
2. pasal claim yuran exam
3. pasal yang ini pula...

cuma, wishlist ku akan terkubur begitu saja...
banyak lagi yang tak habis beli nie...

Apa-apapun I will enjoy my stay in Amsterdam...

How I survived...part 1

2010-07-15T16:28:00.000-07:00

Entry kali ni just wanna share how I survived with study+ baby+ confinement+thesis.. etc..etc...

Percaya atau tak, NOW, I'm nursing Nawal, while both hands are on my keypad. hehe.. hanya, org2 yang terror je boleh buat macam nie...Almaklumlah, since I need to fullfill Nawal's feeding need and finished up my thesis on the same time. So, macam dah terbiasa pulak.

Firtsly, thanks to this gadget. Medela swing breatpump.

very expensive in Malaysia but good bargain in UK. Bukan promote ek, tapi it's really help.

For those who wanted to breastfeed your baby exclusively, there was some advice on my prevoius post entitled cekik darah.

Additional advice:

sila tengok gambar nie... I told you, my hand is always FULL. both hands working at the same time.

If you do this, within less than 5 minutes... see...

...

Dah penuh...

Then, I subcont bab-bab bagi baby minum susu ni kat my hubby. Barulah ada masa nak siapkan thesis + study.

second gadget: Buaian cantik tapi tak berapa best nie...

I won't recommend this swing. Only can be used up to 9kg which is 8-12 bulan. Baik beli buaian kat Msia tu. boleh pakai sampai umur 2-3 tahun.

Yang ini beli last minutes sebab TERPAKSA. masa beli tu tak pedulidah harga dia berapa... sbb 'keperluan' so beli jugak. At least lepas baby menyusu, 'burp'kan dia, pastu letak kat buaian nie, baby pun tidur... takdelah nak melekat lama2 sangat kat kita. adalah masa sikit. Not only for me, my hubby as well, maklumlah nak urus Naim ngan Najwa sekali.

So, skrg dlm dilema nak bawak balik Malaysia ke nak jual je buaian nie kat e-Bay.

Ok, for those who are planning to have baby while study hope you find these helpful. For those working mother in the world, there's no reason why you can't breastfeed your baby.

bye! Peace OFF!!!

aduh!!! Kepalaku diketuk...

2010-07-13T13:22:00.000-07:00

Adoooiiii......!!!!!

Kena ketuk kepalaku...

Official photo: during my graduation ceremony.

Sempoi giller ceremony...

paling best part bila VC dia suruh 'shout' ahaks!!! + hentak-hentak kaki..

sayup-sayup kedengaran suara baby nangis waktu ucapan def-def kehormat. mcm bukan formal ceremony ajer...

PENAT Seyy... study.

ayat selepas lulus my BDS(first degree):

'lepas ni jangan haraplah nak study lagi, nak melalui perit-jerih zaman student'...

TAPI...

sambung gak buat Master. I'm Done!!!

Something precious I found was true friendship with Hadeel Odeh... Gonna miss her...eh silap!!

Missed her already... :((

One place that always be in my mind... LIBRA...RY...

that why took photo in front of it. Bad Luck!!! that day library was closed. kalu tak sure aku amik gambar ngan pak guard yang selalu nak tgk my ID tue...

Now.....

...

FULL-TIME PAID housewife...with my scroll... botol susu... now fulltime direct breastfeed lah ini baby.. no botol2 anymore...

catch you later... even more busier...

no time for blogging. maklumlah ini bby mahu melekat ajer...

Apa ada pada nama... NAWAL

2010-06-11T13:31:00.000-07:00

Latest photo taken this morning... Nawal, Naim Najwa...

Assalamualaikum...

Teringat dialog skype antara aku dan ibu mertuaku yang bertanya nama Nawal tu maksudnyer apa. Rupa-rupanya, mak aku ada menelefon besannya... paling kelakar bila kedua-dua ibu ini bertanya sesama sendiri, apalah maksud NAWAL ni? A week after that my sis pulak tanya soalan yang sama through YM...

Oklah...
Mana aku dpt idea nak letak nama Nawal....
Dulu masa kat sekolah SMATH, Klang, teruja ngan sorang kakak yang warak dan happy go lucky nie. I named Nawal after her...
Maksud NAWAL ialah GIFT.. aku lebih suka menterjemahkannya ke dalam bahasa Melayu sebagai ANUGERAH. Untuk lebih lanjut... boleh tengok sini: erti NAWAL

Memang Nawal satu Anugerah yang Allah bagi. Tidak merancang untuk mengandung pun di UK ni, tapi rezeki Allah bagi, aku terima. Tertanya, Anugerah Allah ini memang sesuatu yang sukar digambarkan.

Apabila aku dalam first trimester, morning sickness yang sangat teruk dan pada sama, I was preparing myself for part 1 exam. Bagi aku 'dia' yang di dalam perut itu yang menguatkan semangat ku untuk belajar. Satu demi satu 'gift' aku terima dari Allah semasa mengandung dan selepas melahirkan Nawal. I became determine person. I set my target and goal because I knew, I'm gonna have very limited time after she was born. Indeed, I did it my way.

But still, my advise, dont get pregnant if you're studying. It tough! really tough!!

p/s kadang2 nak menangis ada jugak, bila2 lagi dalam pantang, bangun malam study, Nawal nangis... Aku terpaksa kejutkan husband aku bagi susu aku yang dah diperah... And my husband sanggup bangun sama-sama. Tanpa dia, takkan ku genggam ijazah ini. MDSc (Dundee).

bersawang!!!

2010-06-10T16:29:00.000-07:00

Blog ku dah bersawang...
macam lah rumah ku jugak...
sejak bersalin+ dlm pantang, takdelah nak membersihkan rumah + menyental apa2 yg patut... sekaranglah masanyer....

kalau tak berapa busy, akan ku cuba merajinkan diri menulis...
skrg nie, sibuk melayan Nawal...
dia pulak, macam tahu2 jer mak dia nak habis exam.
kebetulan last week her first immunication, this week dia demam... sian diar.. kira first time dia demam...

chow dulu.

Naim's Insole.

2010-05-23T03:05:00.000-07:00

Hi..aa..

Dalam kesibukkan bulan Mei ni, Naim ada appointment dengan Orthopaedic mengenai kaki dia tue. Alhamdulillah, dia dah dapat insole (tapak kaki) untuk dimasukkan dalam kasut dia.

Yang tengok Naim waktu tu, senior Orthotist. Dia cakap semua tulang kaki Naim ‘mobile’… maksudnya, normal, takde tulang kaki yang fix. So, sekarang cuma perlu tapak kaki untuk pastikan kaki dia develop normally. Kalau tak pakai insole ni, berkemungkinan kaki dia akan develop lain skit dan tak dapat tampung berat dia.

Actually, lately (2-4weeks ago) Naim’s started complaining tired and sore on his leg especially if he had a long distance walk. But after we use this insole, he said he can run faster. And as a parent I can see the way he walks has changed. Hopefully it work.

Sebenarnya pasal kaki dan cara Naim jalan ni, masa kat Msia dulu dah bagitahu Peads HUKM kat Msia, tapi dia cakap ‘saya tengok normal je anak awak jalan’… Aku dah detect awal bende ni, cuma bila dah diketengahkan, Dr pulak kata normal. Yang pasti as parent, jangan mudah mengalah dan terus cuba untuk bantu anak kita selagi boleh.

Selamat Hari Guru....

2010-05-21T11:18:00.000-07:00

Salam,
Agak terlambat skit untuk wish 'happy teacher's day' nie... tapi ada yang 'berlaku' menyebabkan aku rasa I should write it soon.... Kata-kata mereka yang sampai sekarang aku ingat....

Kata Cikgu NORLELA BT MEON (cikgu Kimia MRSM Kuantan) kat aku masa trial SPM.

'Kalau awak tak dapat A1 atau A2, Awak jangan pakai nama NORLELA tue'

kebetulan nama dia sama ngan nama aku. I took that as a challange, and I did.

Kata Cikgu WONG (cikgu AddMath MRSM Kuantan) kat aku masa aku fail my addmath by 2 marks after he chose me to represent my class for Addmath Quiz for MINGGU AKTIVITI. I broke into tears when I personally met him in his office... sebab aku FAIL addmath.

'Saya tahu awak boleh buat dengan lebih baik sebab itu saya pilih awak!!! lagipon markah awak paling tinggi dalam kelas nie'

huhu... walaupon FAIL, I got the highest mark.

Paling terkesan bila jadi student balik, walaupon dah ada anak 3:
I receieved a 'SORRY' note/card from my 'teacher' (to be specific my clinic consultant) when I got my MFDS part 2 result.

'You are an expert dentist Norlela. Dont let the small set-back dull your enthusiasm for caring of patients.'

Maklumlah, he has been supervised me for almost 2 years... he knew me well. Akan kusimpan kad tersebut dan akan 'frame'kan.

So, Life's goes on. Kita cuba lagi lain kali. Takde rezeki. Apa-apa pon mari kita balik beraya di Malaysia. Yeee... haa...!!!

.
.
.
.
.
p/s: Agak2 ada ke pensyarah atau cikgu kat Msia akan bagi nota bila anak murid dia GAGAL??? soklan tu akan ku tanya balik pada diriku sendiri...

Mei yang serabut...

2010-05-07T10:59:00.000-07:00

Salam..

Done with my mock viva... dia kata PASS. oklah tue... nama pon MOCK..

Mei yang busy.. next, one more exam to go 12th MAY.. which is the worst ever because I need to interact with actors and actress not real patient... FUH!!! Doakan kan eekkk... my part 2 fellowship exam.

Last week 2nd MAY, went to Aberdeen for Nawal's Malaysian Pasport and birth registration.

Then, my thesis submission on 24th MAY.. sure lepas habis exam next next nak kena serabut pulak jumpa SV for setting and everything...

and that last week of MAY, printing my LOGBOOK which now about almost 85% ready... and preparing for my CASE presentation+ study skit for the ULTIMATE date: 2nd JUNE... pastu MERDEKA!!!

Dalam masa yang sama, aku terkedu sekejap...bila last week, NAJWA keluarkan soklan bombastik kat aku:

'MOMMY, DO YOU LOVE ME..... ?'

Apakah maksudnyer... urrm... Sorry, IBU really busy at the moment.. nak nangis pon ada bila soklan tu dia tanya kat aku... lagi2 bila aku dok asyik ngan adik dier je NAWAL...

p/s: lain kali kalau boleh jangan pregnant masa belajar... tapi kalau AlLah dah bagi, TERIMA, ADAPT dan kena plan wisely work, study etc... paling penting, Support from ur husband....

OK, Chow dulu... see u later.

Amsterdam and ABSTRACT

2010-04-30T15:59:00.000-07:00

salam...cerita study... jgn baca kalo rasa serabut...

ABSTRACT
Alhamdulillah... I submitted my Abstract for the ADEE conference this August. Hopefully it will be accepted.

Amsterdam... Here I come...!!!!

'over'lah pulak.. belum tentu diterima. Just wait and pray.

Gratitude to my SV, though he said that:
'when I read your email on Monday, I think it was impossible to write an abstract within 1 week (dateline is 1st May), but at the end we managed to do so' terus terang je dia ckp direct..... It was my mistake did not tell him early that I'm interested because I was busy2 with Nawal and logbook and MFDS... and I was thinking of 'Raya' in Malaysia. I was on dilemma to decide. 2 days before my SV came back from his 2 weeks easter break, my husband gave his 'greenlight' and allow me to stay for this conference. Sayang my hubby!!! Actually, as a good wife, I don't plan to go unless he agreed so.

Without any guide, I wrote own abstract while waiting for my SV. And... I thought, he knew that I'm really into it, ... Aku rasa, kalau aku tak buat draft tu, sure dia takkan tolong aku... maybe sebab I put my own effort. Then he helped me modified my draft.... sampai siap.

At the end, he send my abstract to his collegues who are superior and asked for comments. I was surprised with all urgent reply from them. [Of courselah Ada cc email diorng tu kepada email aku....] I guess, that's the way they work and put professionalism as academician as their priority. I guess I should have the same attitude... kena bawak balik Msia 'attitude' nie. Boleh ke? Malaysia boleh!!!

PROJECT
While everybody are finalizing their thesis + preparing for binding , I'm stuck!!! I can't proceed. My supervisor has not reply anything yet, and it has been 1 week. He's really2 busy... Although, I finished all the major things, I can't start my proove reading. I guess I just follow his plan, after the MFDS exam, he will start the sit together with me for proove reading. I'm a bit worry, sempat ke nak siap... urrm...

LOGBOOK
Almost 80% completed, but suddenly today, my sooo.... 'organize' coordinator gave a new guideline. RASA nak marah sgt... so, I need to adjust everything that I have done... FUH!!!!
I hate when I have plan everything but someone somehow try to change at the very last minute, then I need to re-plan my work then...
Takpelah... sbb dia coordinator, so ikut jelah... kang tak GRAD pulak aku nie...

Here My abstract to share:
Aims: The aim was to produce a chronological review of hydrodynamic hypotheses .......
Materials and Methods: The study involved reviewing historical manuscripts, journals and books from the 18th century until the late 20th century.
.
.
.
.
Conclusions: This review indicates a subliminal awareness of the potential for dentinal fluid/tubules to be relevant to dentine sensitivity, a century or more before it was formally recognised. We suggest that teaching this historical context might be informative to future dental students since understanding the origins of knowledge as well as obtaining knowledge should be fundamental to university education.

WISH ME ALL THE BEST WOKEY!!!!

Tanganku penuh..!!

2010-04-23T12:08:00.000-07:00

Salam,

Well, for the time being, my hands are full. Sometime Nawal on left hand, and 'mouse' on right hand. Always full. Sometime feeding Nawal on left hand and the other hand Najwa ask to pat her esepcially if she want to sleep with me. Not to forget Naim... huhu...

But, Alhamdullillah... Glad!!! I'm Done with it.

Done with my project, minor correction...!!! All Chapter Written Up. Can't wait to submit.

Now, I'm waiting for my supervisor. He's on break in Syria for 2 weeks and surprisingly, he asked for extension of my research submission from my coordinator because he won't be able to check my work before the submission date. Ha'ah.. Very surprised, kan? Maklumlah...he's Professor, if he requested something from my coordinator, for sure that my coordinator can't say anything. So, I can submit my project 1 week late from the submission date which will be on 24th April.

Actually I asked him to submit in two weeks time, but he's the one seem busy with his other students (he got 1 BSc student, 1 MDSc student and 1 PhD student including me) and his management works. He will be away again next 2 weeks in Glasgow for 3 days.

While waiting for him, I'm updating my Logbook and study for MFDS... which I never really started my revision properly... and not to forgot my Clinical Viva in June as well...

syukur... Allah give me strenght and good health through this tought moment.

Bye for now...

P/s Next week I need to go to Aberdeen, not to enjoy the Malaysian food Festival, but for Nawal Malaysian pasport. Tomorrow need to go to city centre for photo taking... Macam mana ek nak amik gambar bby umur less than 1 month nie..

Ada yang tak sempat masuk pool nie..!!!

2010-04-04T12:42:00.000-07:00

salam....

Aduss!!!
Just came back form hospital. I had show + brown + pinkish colour jelly... + 10 minutes contraction pain.
Then, I decided to go to hospital.

urrrm.....

Doktor kata:

No evidence of SRM (air ketuban belum pecah) yet!!! may be it just your hormonal changes. You can go back first and rest. Maybe we will see you again later.
..

..

..
...!!...????

Sekarang tgh sakit contraction every 5 minutes... tapi kadang ada dan strong, kadang2 hilang.

tapi.... tunggu jelah

Doakan ek...Takut2 ada yang tak sempat masuk birth pool. jangan bersalin dalam ambulan or pintu hospital sudah... huhu..

Masa nak bersalin anak no 2 dulu, aku memang takde sakit, cuma show yang sama, bila Dr check dah buka 4 cm, terus hantar labour room. Kat labour room pon, tak sakit contraction pun, tapi.... tiba-tiba sakit datang, terus bersalin... sakit less than 1 hour jer. Sampai midwife tu tak sempat nak prepare peralatan.

Yang kali nie, very2 different.... 'show' dah ada since last week, cuma tak sakit.
Macam nak bersalin anak pertama la pulak, tak tahu dah time ke belum..... Pelik sungguh yang kali nie.... berjalan turun naik tangga pun, tak jugak bersalin awal, walaupon midwife kata baby dah engaged at 36 weeks.

berdoa sambil menahan kesakitan dan masih lagi TUNGGU.... dan TUNGGU....

birthday mama...

2010-03-23T17:32:00.000-07:00

Today... 23rd March 2010.

Birthday mama.

This was special carrot cake. I orderded from my x-baby sitter who currently seem really succes in her business. Check-out her blog http://kekcoklat-naz.blogspot.com/ (if you all interested) agak2 balik nanti dia nak jaga lagi tak anak2 aku... hehhe....

It was my idea to celebrate mama's birthday on advances seems all my siblings and relatives were gathered for my youngest brother wedding, last week. Then, my sis ordered 1000 satays and my brother also celebrated her wife and daughter birthday together with moist choc cake. MERIAH, kan bunyinyer...

To my Adik, selamat berhoneymoon ke Bali, sebelum dihantar ke laut semula selama 4 bulan... cian dier...

Sedih tak dapat join. tapi tak perr... Insyallah, kita buat lagi tahun depan. Semangat kena kuat. macam nilah... bersusah-susah dulu, pengorbanan itu jihad, Jihad kerana Allah.

jom sambung study...

Terkesima

2010-03-21T03:30:00.000-07:00

Pagi-pagi buka email...

Terkesima.

Itulah hakikat kehidupan di Dundee.

Setakat geng BAS SEKOLAH, memang tak layak berkawan dengan Geng MERC Mc Laren atau Geng2 yang seangkatan dengannya...

Ikutlah resmi padi, semakin tunduk semakin berisi.

Baby is engaged...!!!

2010-03-18T15:53:00.000-07:00

Salam,

I had my 36th weeks check-up last Wednesday. Everything's fine. Baby is engaged... That's mean, tunggu masa je lah sekarang nie. I was categorized in low risk, so peluang untuk dapat water birth cerah... kata midwifeku....
But I'm hoping that the baby will be born after my last clinical session next Tuesday.... GEh.. geh.. hehe...

Why??? sebabnya nak siapkan sorang lagi patient (bridge preparation) sebelum baby due. Hari tu, dah buat bridge prep, tapi disebabkan pesakit tu ada hyperplastic gum, so... kena postponed impression. [kalau yang tak faham tu, maksudnya... urrmm... lain kalilah saya explain]. So, harapnya bersalin lah selepas tarikh tersebut. Which is after 23rd of March... which is at 37 weeks. Kalau minggu depannya pon tak pe sebab dah cuti easter for 2 weeks.

Tapi... my birth experiences both babies was delivered at 41 weeks. For the time being Doa jelah banyak. Currently, memang dah sangat semput nak berjalan ke kelas. dulu I took 5-7 minits to school, now... I need 10-15 minits walk... maklumlah sekarang dah kategori 'kenderaan berat' berjalan.

Walaupon dah dekat due, tapi belum ada tanda2 bengkak2 kaki lagi or kembang hidung or muka. Kalau dulu, memang muka dan kaki akan kembang semangkuk.... my Brixton Hicks contraction memang dah regular + back pain. Harap2 semua berjalan lancar. Beratku sekarang pon baru 63kg jer...

I discussed with my midwife, is it possible for me to induce after the date of my EDD (10th April). She said if I want to be induce then, I will go in high risk category. NO chance of waterbirth and probably risk of caesearean. So, she wants me to think over it again.

Tertelan air liur aku sekejap...

so, I had decided, tunggu jelah.... doa banyak2. Bukan apa, kalau baby lahir lambat, takut aku belum cukup kuat untuk sit for my MFDS part 2 exam....
Memang sekarang aku Tawakal, moga Allah mempermudahkan segala urusan. Amin...

Doakan saya yekk...

Drawing... Najwa

2010-03-12T15:24:00.000-08:00

Salam...

Sepatutnya, sekarang aku kena siapkan chapter 3 sebab dah janji ngan SV nak hantar by Monday.

Tetapi.... tiba2 malas pulak.

Bak kata pelajar terbaik SPM 2009 'saya belajar takde jadual, sekejap belajar, rehat, main sekejap,sambung belajar balik' hehhe... cewah!!! [dalam beritalah dia ckp macam tu]

konon nak ikut style dia arr... itu SPM daa... ini peringkat Masterlah... gelakkan diri sendiri

tapi boleh je kot ikut style dia.

Lagi-lagi as a mother...tengah2 baca journal tadi, anak sulung ku datang... ajak aku ngaji... dia dah iqra' 2, tinggal beberapa pages je nak habis...

So, takkan lah aku nak cakap kat dia, 'Ibu sibuk lah tengah buat kerja nie...

hari ni tak payah ngaji... or aku cakap... hari nie ngaji with 'daddy'.

Nak tak nak... bagilah dia ngaji dulu. ye tak?

Actually, I wanna write about his sister, Najwa.

tengoklah lukisan dia tu.. cantek tak?

Actually, everyday, my hubby will send them to school, last few days, he said that najwa drawing being displayed in school board.

Guess?? which one is her?

Taddaa.... bangga tu lukisan anak aku... hehhe...

IBU yang 'over'.

Miss Stewart is her teacher. Siap ada flower kat sebelah Miss Stewart. hehhe...

Najwa selalu gak lukis gambar aku... tapi tak yah upload kat sini. sebab kalau dia lukis, dia akan lukis 'mommy' and 'baby' sekali... hehhe... dia dah tak sabar nak tunggu adik dia keluar...

ok, chow dulu... nak sambung balik writing.

kuah kacang...

2010-03-10T08:20:00.000-08:00

MOOD: Perasan pandai masak...

Dah pukul 4 kat office lagi nie... tengah siapkan writing, jap lagi nak kemas dan balik rumah.
semalam, ada classmate from Jordan tanya, aku buat lagi tak kuah kacang aku.... tetiba baru kejap tadi tadi ada sorang member Libyan tanya lagi pasal kuah kacang aku... wah!!! glamour gak kuah kcg aku nie... kuang!!! kuang!!kuang!!! perasan lah tue... :P

Dulu rajin gak bust business nasi lemak + kuah kacang weekends...masyuk gak lah £20-£30 untuk 2 hari. tapi sejak2 aku pregnant and morning sickness dari first trimester, dah stop dah business aku nie... tak larat beb!!!
agak2 bila aku nak mula business balik... hehe... ntah lah... tak cukup tangan dah nie...

habis exam nak buat business baliklah, kumpul duit semula balik, for shopping... yeekk...!!!

Sure classmate aku semua dah rindu nak makan kuah kacang aku tue... (hehe.. perasan lagi).
BYE!!!

Rugilah setahun awak!!!!

2010-02-26T16:30:00.000-08:00

Salam...

Sebenarnya malas nak tulis entry nie, tapi saja nak meluahkan perasaan, maklumlah tengah letih, analisis dan tulis research... Memang sekarang terasa 'peak' of my research. Belum lagi nak menyusun ayat di dalam bahasa Inngeris which is not my first language. Apa-pun, sangat berpuashati dengan progressku sendiri sebab freedom yang SVku bagi... membuatkan aku sedar yang most of writing, memang original hasil kerja keras aku sendiri...

Berbalik pada topic entry nie...
Ada yang bertanya macam2 pada saya:

Kenapa dapat scholar 3 tahun, visa 3 tahun.... tapi tak nak stay for another year... rugilah awak setahun lagi. orang lain semua berebut nak minta extend setahun lagi, untuk clinical attachment... bolehlah enjoy stay dan jalan2 kat Europe... lepak2 buat fellowship... etc... macam2lah lagi yang diorang suruh aku buat kalau stay setahun lagi... kenapa tak buat MRD sekali... panjanglah skit title Dr kat belakang nama tue... etc..etc.. lah....

Jawapannya mudah:
.
.
.
.
Sebagai Isteri, saya ada tanggungjawab pada suami saya. Masa depan dia kena fikir jugak. Walaupon dia cikgu... orang pandang dia 'sebelah mata'... sebagai isteri aku nak kena jugak fikir masa depan dia, takkan aku je yang nak senang... kalau cakap byk2, orang ckp itu ini... baik aku diam jer... Blogging now is part of remedy... Apa pun kalau aku stay setahun lagi, but my other half is not happy, aku pun akan rasa tak happy jugak. maklumlah dia dah banyak berkorban... selagi aku boleh balik secepat mungkin... aku akan balik secepat mungkin...

Paling aku Hangin, bila ada bunyi2 kentut busuk yang kata, aku balik awal nak kejar jawatan ketua jabatan... apalah korang nak sibuk!!! korang bukan satu ofis ngan aku pon... :P... ello..!!! kirim salam lah semua tue, aku lebih suka buat kerja2 clinical berbanding kerja admin.

Jauh disudut hati, memang nak extend my stay, tapi setelah dipertimbangkan kebaikan dan keburukkan, kelebihan dan kekurangan... balik Msia lagi baik. Lebih tenang dan gembira.

Lastly, sorrylah kalau emosi skitt... kalau ada yang terasa tu, jgn ambik hati ekk... maklumlah dekat2 nak bersalin nie, rasa emosi tak stabil skit...
sekali lagi: my blog title: Menulis untuk kepuasan diri....

dah!!! nak sambung my research balik...

Naim's Progress

2010-02-20T17:13:00.000-08:00

Alhamdulillah...

Naim and his speech problems.... went to his check up last Thursday.

Naim's Paediatrician impressed with his progress. Now, he can balanced himself on one foot longer than 10 second and could jump on one foot more than 15 jumps. Credit to my husband yang 'sabar'... everyday do the exercise routine for Naim to develop his low muscle tone problem.

On the other hand, He realized that feet are flat. Cuba tengok kaki korang, ada space kan bila jejak lantai kat tengah2 tapak tue.... Naim punya kaki, flat jer... takde notch tu. Naim will be referred to Ortho... apantah namanyer... (specialty in foot problem), so that Naim will get special design shoe for his feet. Not really special shoe, but kind of a design to create a depression for his feet while he's still growing. special insole for shoe lah... lebih kurang.

After half an hour, his speech therapist joined the appointment. Again, both of them, testing his understanding and languange ability. They found as he's only 1 year in school and abled to understand good English, they found Naim has no mental or learning difficulties. Alhamdulillah... His intelectual was campatible with 7 years old kids. That really impressed me. But, both of them concluded that Naim has 'specific' problems in speech. They were not sure this could effect his learning ability in future, as he grows. He might not need special teacher to teach him. They can't really tell.

From Naim's class teacher opinion: she said that Naim are capable to learn as normal student. She don't thinks Naim need special school.

So, as conclusion, yang aku boleh buat, Naim is Ok, normal but delayed in speech with ''specific' difficulties. tapi my husband kata, kalau Naim dah boleh baca, maknanya, lepas nie, dia dah boleh sebut betul2, insyallah semua akan ok.. for the time being, we try our best to speak 100% bahasa melayu kat dia. tapi dia akan reply english lah... hehe.. macam ayam ckp ngan itik...hehhe...

Yang penting, bila balik Msia nanti, aku akan dapat referral letter with all the result and diagnosis, so that, the paeds in KL, do not need to assess him all over again. maklumlah kat Msia, walaupon pergi specialist clinic, MO yang asess dulu, pastu baru refer pakar. Lega!!! sekurang2 nya kat sini everythings is free...

Graduation date

2010-02-17T14:39:00.000-08:00

Salam,

Today, during the seminars, our coordinator announced our graduation date. It will be on 25th June... kwang...kwang..kwang... bila bagitahu kat husband, dia terus cakap,

'kalau macam tu 26 Jun tu kita balik Malaysia' ...

Weird??!!! but excited... bila tanya exam date, dia belum boleh jawab lagi, tapi graduation date dah ada.

He supposed to annouce the exam date first, so that we can prepare our exam case, contact and prepare patient before the exam. On other hand, he remind us our research submission. hehhe... which make my head, keluar asap kepul2... + logbook lagi...

Makin dekat, makin cuak... now, I dont really have time to study for my part 2 membership exam. Hoping for MIRACLES... which something I usually never hope or done. Tawakal? tak sesuai, sebab tak cukup usaha... hhaha...

dah!!! nak sambung writing balik...

the countdown begins...

2010-02-13T05:42:00.000-08:00

Salam...

Last 2 days I had a long chatted with my neighbour. She told her experienced gave birth here. She was fortunate when she arrived hospital, it already 6 cm. So, She don't need to go home even her contraction was about every 5 minutes. She also told me that our Kazakhstan's neighbour, went to hospital 3 times, but midwife still refused to accept her for labour. Hospital rules..!!!

Tiba2 rasa Cuak... lagi-lagi malam tadi terbaca berita emergency exit nie.

I had my first Braxton Hicks' contraction, around 1.00am while I was writing up thesis project, last night. Hahah... That's mean... it just around the corner... hahha... (gelak lagi...).. tik..tok..tik..tok...

I read notes given by my midwife, Don't come to hospital unless your water break or your contraction is about every 3 minutes... Giler...!!! kalau macam nie, rasa2nya, ada chance aku pon bersalin dalam teksi or bersalin kat depan pintu hospital... hahahha... (gelak lagi..).

Kalau kat Msia, at least dah ada tanda2 tu, bolehlah masuk wad dulu. Dah agak2 nak dekat baru masuk labour room. tapi kat sini.... hahha... (gelak lagi)...

Mungkin sebab kat sini, everything is free kot, so, diorang tak nak admit patient awal, selagi tak betul2 nak bersalin.

Berdoa semoga dipermudahkan. Actually, dah rasa macam tak larat nak bawak baby nie. Amin...

BeratKu tak Naik2...

2010-02-06T22:37:00.000-08:00

Salam,

Last week, I had my 30 weeks check-up with midwife. So far... Alhamdulillah, 'You are not smokers and drinkers, the next appointment will be in 4 weeks times'... kata midwifeku... hehhe... Kalau kat Malaysia, it should be every 2 weeks lah... maklumlah only 10 weeks left...

Lepas amik darah etc... My midwife said, she'll be coming for home visit the next friday... aku ingatkan dia nak tengok keadaan rumah, sesuai ke tak untuk persekitaran kanak2... rupanya... dia datang, hantar borang 'Pregnancy claim'

In UK, they had policy where the expected mother after 25 weeks could claim £190, from the goverment. Terkejuzzz... gak aku, diorang kata nak bagi duit, bila aku tanya 'Am I qualified for this public fund?' dia kata, dengan confidentnyer.. 'Don't worry, the money will be credited to your account within 2 weeks'...
syokk aa... £190 sapa tak nak duit... Lepas buat siasatan, memang aku tak layak pon... dah terang2 dalam visa kata 'Not ----- for public fund' ... hehhe... buang masa je.

During the check up, actually... kalau kat Msia, tiap kali datang, sure timbang berat. kebetulan kat sini, memang takde timbang2 berat pun,so, bila aku ternampak weight scale tu, terus jumped on... Berat ku baru 59kg... ??? Confused...

When I had my first baby, my weight was about 65kg at 38 weeks, and the second one was 69kg at around 38-39 weeks... but now, I'm only 59kg... so, mungkin masa dekat2 nak bersalin nanti berat ku hanya 62-65kg jer... I wonder why?
Maybe because I lost so much weight during my first trimester [morning sickness].
Actually 59kg was my weight before I enter UK... maklumlah dok USIM, makan hebat2... beratku naik melampau2.

Apa-apapun aku cuma berharap, semuanya sihat walafiat. aku sihat, baby pun sihat.

P/S: UK spend a lot of money to support unmarried women to cope with their pregancy. Itu belum lagi teenagers as early as 12 years old who got pregnant. 'like chlidren carrying a child'... After give birth, the mother will get free flat for their living as long as the child with them... just imagine how much money their spend to support 'unhealthy sex'. Last weeks, there was suggestion in parliment to give free condom and preganncy test in secondary school. 'Free condom??' it's like when Sharizat try to give free syringe to drug addict...For me, its like 'tadah air kat baldi pada paip yang bocor, tapi tak cuba repair kepala paip tu'... ada pepatah dalam BM... apa ekk!!!! lomah betullah BM aku sekarang nie...

My 'vacation' in Edinburgh...

2010-02-06T21:55:00.000-08:00

Salam,

Last 2 weeks was the most tiring week for me. Travelled to search for my reserach materials in Edinburgh's University Library. Even though, I stayed in Premier Inn Hotel and I could claim all my expenses, but it wasn't enjoyable at all + gloomy and wintery weather. EXHAUSTED!!!

My SV said, 'enjoy ur stay in Edin'... Fuh!! How could I enjoy myself, if I left my kids @ home. They joined me, one the second day and arrived Edin around 5.00pm. Initial plan was 2 nights stay in edin, ended up for 3 days instead.

The only best part of the trip, I went to Spanish Restaurant with one of my friends before I started my 2 days marathon search in the library. Photo tak sempat snap.. sebab tengah lapar sangat2. I was there [library] from 9.00 to 5.00 , okey??

Last week, still I need to travel there, but this time I travelled alone, one whole day. Woke up late at 7.30am, (hanya dengan niat mandi pagi + berus gigi+ pakai baju baru solat subuh)... rushed to train station before 8.20am. Fuh!!! dengan lappy yang berat, I arrieved on time. This time I finished early, then went to Edinburgh mosque to perfrom Zohor + Asar (jamak).

Surprisingly, a lot of Scottish teenagers, was hanging around in the mosques area, smoking, eating, drinking... geram jer aku rasa... tapi itulah hakikat, mungkin mereka lebih selesa lepak2 kat masjid sambil dengar azan. Mudah2an Allah berikan hidayah buat mereka.

Unfortunately, the ladies prayer's room is located at the third floor. Climbing the stairs made my legs cramped and aching... with my laptop on my back, when I arrived Dundee safely, I got all backpains ++, Alhamdulillah, malam tu ada Cik abang tolong urut badan + kaki... [Dalam mosque ni, ada incident bertemu orang Melayu sombong, takyah citerlah... buang masa jer...]

Now, recovering stage, tahap malas nak start my writing again... Hopefully, by Monday... everythings back to normal....

Berebut Apam Balik...

2010-01-26T16:12:00.000-08:00

salam...

'Awak nak lagi ke apam balik ni?' tanya si suami kepada isterinya yang sedang menyiapkan anak yang yang baru lepas mandi, walhal, dia baru sahaja menghabiskan 2 potong apam balik yang telah ditinggalkan isterinya tadi. Yang ada di atas meja, sepotong apam balik yang telah digigit isteri tersebut, sebelum memandikan anaknyer telah menjadi rebutan... Dengan nada geram...si isteri menjawab, 'Nak lah, saya baru makan sepotong'... hehhe..

Those were the dialogue between them. Last weekend, one of the Malaysian family came to visit us. Actually, she baked 'Kek Gula Hangus'... She brought for us to repay our APAM BALIK that I made myself last 3 weeks...

Believe or Not... I made it myself. So, aku hantarlah sekeping kat dia... yang dah dipotong 4. Lawaknya, dia cerita yang diorang berebut apam balik tu... Both of them have stayed here for almost 3 years. Sure rindu giler nak makan apam balik....

Taa... daa....

On your right, a bit 'buruk' coz it was the first attempt, on your left more look like apam balik yang ada jual kat pasar malam kat Malaysia, thick and pluffy... Then, after few trial, I made the most thinnest one, crunchy and of course... nak puji diri sendiri... sedap dan amat berpuas hati.

Aku pulak, memang terasa nak makan sendiri punya masa aku last day ganti puasa aku, so... call and dapat resipi, terus buat apam balik tue...

Moral: kalau terigin, buat ajelah sendiri... resipinya leceh skit... tapi berbaloi.!!!

To akak dan abang: lain kali saya buat lebey skit hantar kat korang... jangan rebut2 lagi ekkk....!!!

Akukah yang GILER itu...???

2010-01-21T16:32:00.000-08:00

AWAS!!! BORING ENTRY….

I’m trying hard to cope with dissertation, clinic and my 3rd trimester. But, this week, I’m exhausted. It's not Friday yet.

I informed my clinic consultant and coordinator that I’m pregnant. Yet, 2 important person still in the list… My SUPERVISOR… (bilalah aku nak bagitahu dia nie) and Ayahanda… (perlu ke bagitahu..) nanti merajuk pulak ‘Encik’ itu. No worries anymore, I could take 2-3 weeks leave for my confinement.
When I was in dental school as undergrad student, when I saw the Postgraduates students who are pregnant while pursuing their dream, I said to myself, ‘giler ke diorang pregnant waktu tengah study’… and now, AKU KAH YANG GILER ITU… (gelakkan diri sendiri… haha…)

Though, it’s tough. Especially, now is the last trimester when I started to have cramp legs, back pains, short of breath, can’t sleep at night because the baby is always kicking @ night and etc… still keeping up.

Next week, I’m will leave my kids with hubby for 2 days to complete some materials in Edinburgh University Library. I heard from one of the staffs, my SV is very particular one, when he wants something, he’ll do it. He won’t help the student if the student did not help themselves… He failed his PhD students twice. HAH!!! ngerilah pulak.

Today, I met him as usual, and as he always does, he was happy with my progress… sometimes, it makes me scare… (semua yang aku buat betul je nie…takkan takde yang tak betul)

He checked my introduction chapter with some minor corrections, and now I can imagine that my intro is going to be more than 20 pages…. Dah nama buat review paper… so kira oraitlah tu…

and when I showed him my latest findings, he was sooo… happy and excited. Me too, quite excited with my findings, it just that…. how I supposed to put it on my paper with my horrible writing…

Moral: Exhausted because I'm missing my families in Msia... aka... HOMESICK.

COLA dan elaun kritikal... nak mansuh???

2010-01-21T15:32:00.000-08:00

Last week ada dengar cerita-cerita elaun COLA and kritikal akan ditarikbalik... biar betul? Bila dengar pertama kali tu, rasa macam tak percaya, rumours je kot... tetiba hari ni, dah banyak orang kata nak ditarik balik... latest news from one of my friends, cerita tu semua tak betul...

Entah mana satu yang betul ntah... CONFUSED...!!!

Mula-mula tu, aku tak amik peduli sangat...
Tiba-tiba termenung sekejap, kalau betul... urrmm...

Kalau macam nie, balik join KKM lah, sabtu ahad dan confirm free...
atau...

atau RESIGN... tapi... I like teaching.

atau join private, kerja sehari baru 4-5 jam aje, boleh concentrate kat anak2... tapi... It's just not me.

atau... aku kerja kat kedai jahit kakak aku je lah...

Agak-agak bila USIM nak bayar gaji aku mengikut kadar yang sepatutnya... sampai sekarang, belum ada berita, naik bosan pon ada nak tunggu...

Due date VS dateline

2010-01-12T15:08:00.000-08:00

Salam,

Buai laju2.. sampai cucur atap, apa dalam beg...
Cuba tengok apa dalam beg nie. haha...!!! dah siap.

Dalam tak sedar rupanya dah nak masuk 3rd trimester. Disamping kerja2 sekolah dan journal2 yang menanti minta dibelek, aku pun dah siap packing bag.

I'm excited, walaupun dah baby yang ketiga. For those who still dont know, this is like an announcement. hehe... my hubby suruh jgn bagitahu orang lagi... tapi sebab I know that my blog pun bukannya popular mana; and as the theme, 'Menulis Untuk Kepuasan Diri' semata-mata.

beg nie akan terus ku 'cekau', kalau emergency sakit nak bersalin... yelah, takut2 sambil aku mengejar my research DATELINE, MFDS DATELINE, VIVA DATELINE, tahu-tahu DUE DATE tu yang nak kena prepare bersama semua Dateline tersebut... so, apa2 kena bersedia.

Last week check up dengan midwife kat clinic. so far, everything goes well. Alhamdulillah...
Tengah2 midwife tu check heart beat of my third baby, baby tu kicked berkali2... Midwife yang baik itu tersenyum dan berkata... 'she's going to be a footballer' ... nak tergelak aku. iyolah tue... nak ganti David Beckham ke. Tak sesuai... !!!

Sedang aku, baru ada kekuatan untuk memberitahu supervisorku yang aku nak minta cuti 2-3 weeks for my confinement. Hajat di hati memang nak sorok sampai bersalin, tapi... perut ku dah tak boleh cover... so, orang mesti tanya punyalah...

Memanglah tak nampak pakai jacket bubble2, boleh cover lagi...

tapi... bila buka jacket tebal nie... tu dierr.... dah buncit..

Tadi dah dapat maternity leave grant. Kalau kat UK nie, maternity leave ni, melayakkan aku cuti sampai anak 6 bulan siap dengan gaji penuh. bagus betullah... tapi malangnya maternity grant tu, hanya boleh aku guna untuk beritahu koordinator yang aku nak bersalin dan cuti bersalin mengikut budi-bicara koordinator. If you're UK resident, then you could get that looooong leave which is very2 good.

For those who asked me to share.... my baby during when she was 14 weeks and 20 weeks (sedang menghisap jari)...

I had terrible morning sickness ever, though this is my third one. I lost about 7 kilos during my first trimester. Currently, I'm catching up my weight. Alhamdulillah... cuma memang tak berapa selera sgt nak makan kali nie.. maklumlah banyak DATELINE lain yang perlu di'settle'kan.

Stop dulu kat sini.... Later entry, I'll share the clinical services between Malaysia and Scotland...

As for me, hoping that I will have my first 'waterbirth' labour experience.

Introduction chapter

2010-01-06T15:40:00.000-08:00

salam...

Wargh!!! rasa nak menangis pun ada. This week will be the most challengging week. Dalam keadaan cuti krismas yang panjang, terasa amat susah sekali nak memulakan semula my dissertation. I have tried from Monday, tapi tak jalan jugak.

Berkobar2 pagi Isnin itu, aku berjalan sambil mengusung laptopku yang kurasa tersangatlah berat, melangkah dengan berhati-hati dan konsentrasi untuk mengelakkan tergelincir dari jalan yang licin dan berais sambil mengusung perutku ini. Bila aku tiba di muka library, rupanya, library masih tutup. bukan aku saja yang tertipu, ada 3-4 orang students lagi yang baru smapai pun tercengang-cengang. Rasa nak marah pada diri sendiri pun ada. Tapi aku masih ingat, I went to library last day before the christmas break, the librarian said that they will be open on 4th Jan and I could collect my inter-library loan request. So, aku ke yang bersalah???

So, untuk mengobat hati yang luka, aku pun nak singgah di officeku aka my dental skool... sekali lagi, rupanya skool pun cuti lagi, clinic pon cuti. No dental service on that day. I cant access through the door. KUNCI tue...Punyalah diorang nie cuti bagai.... Bila sampai rumah semula, terus aku tidur. Stress!!! Nasib baik aku puasa hari tu... kalau tak dah lama dah aku menyumpah seranah.

Alhamdulillah... sekarang aku dah berjaya memanaskan semula otakku yang dah beku dek temperature yang always minus degree Celcius jer... buat kerja dari rumah. kunci pintu bilik, suami dan anak2 tidak dibenarkan masuk.... wah!!! kejam tak? nak buat macam mana... terpaksa jugak buat. My intro chapter pon dah ada 8 pages, and I think I can submit it next week.

Yang aku boleh buat, adalah memperbanyakkan motivasi dan muhasabah diri. JK Rowling kata : 'if you want to achieve something you dont just act but keep on dream of it and believe that you can achieve it' ... so, kalau aku buat kerja je, tapi tak percaya yang aku boleh siapkan... memang confrimlah tak siap2... It just like how I could pass my MFDS part 1. My close friend does not believe that I can, when she saw my terrible morning sickness. I can't join them for the study group... but I always said to them, I can...

hari nie terjumpa new motivatonal quote by Vanessa William: dia kata : 'you have to belive in yourself when no one else does' ...

hari nie terserempak dengan salah seorang Malaysian, dia agak terkejut bila aku kata aku akan tambah ahli keluarga bulan 4 nie... terus dia cakap kat aku 'kalau macam tu, habis lambatlah study' or mungkin dia kata 'kalau macam tu, balik lambatlah' lebih kurang mcm tu lah ayat dia...huhu... tersedak jugak aku bila dia cakap macam tu. But I still believe that I can do it. Betullah cakap Vanessa nie, kalau aku sendiri tak percaya yang aku boleh buat, macam mana orang lain pun nak percaya yang aku boleh buat... logik gak!!!

So, moralnya... Start dreaming and believing.

Tengah dok cari defination for my intro chapter tetiba jumpa motivational quote satu lagi : 'A great things happen on earth... alamak!!! tak ingatlah pulak. tapi maksudnya macam ginilah kalau dalam pepatah melayu: sikit-sikit lama2 jadi bukit... hahah... So, kalau semalam my intro hanya dalam 4-5 baris ayat, hari nie aku dah berjaya buat jadi half pages... sedar-tak sedar tetiba jer, dah jadi 7 pages... so, janganlah risau kalau kita buat sebaris ayat for writing pun, ia tetap membantu... hehhe... yang penting set target. perlu siap by thursday next week. My compulsory meeting with my SV...

Alhamdulillah... Alhamdulillah... Alhamdulillah...

Misi esok: teruskan berusaha...

highland break 5D/4N

2010-01-01T16:42:00.000-08:00

Salam,
Kalau orang lain menghabiskan cuti krismas dengan berboxing day dan bershopping sakan, kali nie aku berbelanja sakan untuk my highland tour selama 5 dari 4 malam. Maklumlah pada asalnya duit nie, nak guna untuk berjoli ke Istanbul, tapi disebabkan aku dah tak boleh naik kapal terbang, maka aku terbangkan jua diri ku di dalam Scotland juga.

Orang yang paling excited nak berjalan adalah orang yang paling kerap dok rumah which is my husband. Dia yang paling tak sabar2 sekali.

Tempat pertama: ROTIMURCHUS, on the way the hostel kami. singgah untuk lunch. menu lunch ditaja oleh Chef Zul (dari Mardi).

Dalam on the way tu, kereta kami tersesat lalu terjumpa tasik yang dah frozen.

rasa macam nak try je pijak tasik nie... agak2 jatuh tak?

on the way lagi snaplah beautiful sceneries from Dundee to Inverness....

Dan setelah hampir 3 jam, tibalah kami ke destinasi: hostel kami...

Inilah hostel tempat kami menginap. Seramai 28 orang (dewasa + kanak-kanak). Bilik dia kira memuaskanlah. yang penting boleh masak dan kumpul ramai-ramai. Service dia memang tip-top. kereta sangkut ke rosak ke mesti diorang tolong.

DAY 2: Old Inverlochary castle. castle nie dah tinggal tapak. tapi dulunya castle ni dikelilingi oleh air sungai.

tapak tengah castle tersebut. ada tower yang masih elok dan bilik-bilik kecil. sampai sekarang aku masih tertanya-tanya. macam mana agaknya dorang bina castle2 di UK nie...

background: view of the Old Inverlochary castle.

belakang castle ada sungai yang jernih dan cantik.. naim dan najwa nak melompat....

on the way balik first day tu, singgah di Commander memorial. kira mcm tugu peringatan pahlawan.

DAY 3: Inverness castle. castle nie masih digunakan sampai sekarang. kebetulan masa kami sampai kami tidak dibenarkan masuk sebab orang istana tengah guna.

Inverness castle: view from the castle. Subhanallah. memang cantik rasa macam lukisan kat studio. Untuk photographer yang tak bertauliah dan camera cikai nie, kira gambar ni, perfectlah...

Lepas tu jalan kaki je pergi Inverness Museum dan Gallery. Admission free. tapi tujuan utama masuk galeri nie sebab semua dah kesejukkan, so memanaskan badan sekejap sebelum menuju ke tempat lain.

View from the bridge di Inverness city. tengah on the way ke masjid Inverness.

Lepas solat zohor, kami bershopping di Victorian Market, Inverness. ada orang terjumpa budu dan cencalok kat sini, terus rembat bawak balik Dundee...

Tidak sesibuk masa first time aku datang dulu.. waktu tu summer, nie winter, so orang pon tak berapa ramai...

Day 4 : Urquhart castle. castle yang menjadi rebutan England and Scotland suatu ketika dulu dan cuba dirampass oleh Spain. tetapi akhirnya, dirampas juga oleh kerabat Jacobite. macam gitulah kisahnya, dipercayai antara castle yang tertua di dunia selain Edinburgh castle.

Miniature of the castle: terpegun jugaklah tengok tapak asal castle nie...

hehe... Ini lah senjata orang dulu. pelurunya... pakai batu.

Pakaian askar yang tinggal di Urquhart castle. berat perisai ni semua dlm 3-4 stone (kira-kira dlm 70 kg).. kalau tak silap kiralah... nak demo pakai pon susah. tertanya-tanya gak aku, kalau askar ni kena cirit-birit, sure tak sempat nak buka semua baju tue...

Lochness view from Urquhart castle.

last sekali sebelum balik hostel, kami singgah di Caledion canal. Canal di berfungsi seperti terusan Suez. Menaikkan kapal dari kawasan rendah ke kawasan tinggi. View kat sini memang sangat2 cantik.

Beutiful sceneries from the Caladeon Canal.

Last day sebelum balik ke Dundee, singgah di Aviemore. Kononnya nak ber 'ski' tapi sebab terlalu pack yang beli tiket on advance je yang boleh sampai ke Cairngorm Mountain tue + weather agak gloomy.

tapi sempat jugak memuaskan hati ber'sledge' di sini.

ramai orang sledging and scadboarding....

Naim dan najwa sedang ber'sledging'. bapaknya join sekali, maknya takleh join. kena berhati-hati. kalau tak dah lama naik sekali ngan diornag nie...

Percaya atau tidak? suhu mencapai minus 16'C tue pada hari kedua kami berjalan. Memang terasa menggigit ke badan. tapi sebab dah biasa sejuk kat Dundee...sampai pada suhu 0'C tu rasa macam biasa je dah...

Alhamdulillah... balik trip all my family tak demam, cuma selsema aje. itupun biasa-biasa ajer. cuma badanlah letih skit. rehat dulu sebelum memulakan semula sesi persekolahan...

baa baa black sheep...

2009-12-23T17:56:00.000-08:00

Assalamualaikum...

Kali ini yang menulis agak serius sikit.

Sedar atau tidak, atau orang lain memang dah sedar cuma aku sahaja yang baru tersedar, lagu-lagu nursery rhymes yang kita ajar di rumah kepada anak-anak kita sebenarnya banyak berkait rapat dengan cerita navinity.
Mungkin ada yang tak tahu nativity tu apa ke bendenya, termasuk aku... aku cuma tahu cerita kelahiran nabi Isa yang diceritakan mengikut bible, tak tahulah pulak, nama dia 'Nativity'. maklumlah aku ni lomah skit bab2 terminology nie...

Kalau ikut kisah Nativity nie, ketika Maryam melahirkan Jesus ni dikandang ditemani oleh Joseph (sebenarnya, Maryam melahirkan berseorangan: rujuk Surah Maryam) bintang menyinar di langit dan dari jauh telah kelihatan oleh penduduk tempatan. Semua tertanya-tanya apa itu...Maka diajarkan anak-anak menyanyi lagu.

'twinkle-twinkle little star'

'how I wonder what you are'

kemudian, datanglah beramai-ramai penduduk tempatan melihat bayi tersebut, kerana bayi tersebut dianggap seorang yang istimewa, maka terbitlah lagu

'bab bab black sheep have you any wool'

Yes sir three bags full,1 for my master, 1 for my dame

and 1 for the little boy who cries in the lane.

little boy ini adalah bayi tersebut...

sebenarnya... bayi tersebut sejuk: so nak mintak bulu biri selimutkan baby nie...

Bukan itu sahaja, terdapat juga 3 wise man yang menerangkan kepada penduduk tentang keistimewaan bayi tersebut. Termasuklah lagu-lagu yang lain seperti Mary had a little lamb, dan ada beberapa lagi lagu yang tak berapa popular...

Indirectlah, beginilah cara mereka menyebarkan agama mereka secara perlahan kepada anak-anak...

Padahal, di dalam Al-Quran (Surah Maryam) : Maryam melahirkan diri seorang diri di bawah pohon tamar, dan berdoa kepada Allah. Selain itu, kerana kesakitan melahirkan tersebut, Maryam redha mati melahirkan bayi tersebut, lalu datanglah Jibril membantunya... Jibril menyuruh Maryam menggoncangkan pohon tamar tempat Maryam berpaut menahan kesakitan. Maka, makanlah Maryam tamar tersebut, untuk memberi kesegaran dan kesihatan setelah penat melahirkan.... sampailah Maryam sihat semula.

Kemudian, Maryam bernazar akan mendiamkan diri sebelum keluar menemui penduduk tempatan, kerana fitnah besar akan mengatakan yang beliau berzina padahal beliau dari keturunan Nabi-nabi dan kelaurga yang baik... supaya pada ketika itu Nabi Isa yang dikendongnya akan menerangkan sendiri tentang kelahiran beliau. Note: Nabi Isa adalah antara bayi-bayi yang boleh bercakap dengan izin Allah ketika masih kecil.

(kalaulah ada lagu-lagu yang sama menceritakan peristiwa tersebut untuk dikongsi bersama. Kalau ada beritahulah saya ek)

Berlainan dengan kisah Nativity ini, di mana 3 wise man inilah yang mengatakan Isa itu Nabi a.k.a. anak tuhan. Bukan Nabi Isa sendiri berkata dari mulutnya sendiri.

Wallahualam... (rujuk Surah Maryam 19: 8-11)

Kesimpulan yang nak aku sampaikan, dalam pada kita mengajar anak-anak kita menyanyi lagu-lagu english ni, apalah salahnya juga kita ajarkan selawat-selawat serta lagu-lagu kanak-kanak yang baik dan berteladan.

Malangnya, kat Malaysia, susah nak cari lagu-lagu sebegini, sekurang-kurangnya kita boleh ajarkan lagu 'My mother or lagu-lagu Yusuf Islam' (kalau nak anak kita terror English), 25 rasul, dan kumpulan nasyid kanak-kanak yang aku tahu kat Malaysia pun TILMIZ dan ALIF, Ba, Ta. (eh.. betul ke..?). Aku cuma tahu TilMiz tu jelah... yg confirm betul sebab aku ada VCD dia...

Cuma mengharapkan Raihan akan keluar lagu untuk kanak-kanak dengan lebih banyak.

Selain ajar anak2 kita nyanyi lagu lompat si katak lompat, atau buai laju-laju... etc... (yang ini untuk bagi anak-anak pandai cakap melayu ek) hehhe...

P/S : anak-anak aku dah lupa kira 1,2,3 dalam bahasa Melayu... tengah berusaha mengajar BM kepada anak-anak semula.

Christmas show @ nursery

2009-12-19T01:52:00.000-08:00

Salam,

Semalam, pegi anak-anak punya christmas show. Lepas lari ke library amik journals yang di direquest kat library, sempat lagi jumpa supervisor kejap... terus larik ke sekolah anak2. Maklumlah nak tengok jugak, macam mana Navinity story yang cikgu Naim dan Najwa cakap tue. Kena concern jugak!!!

Rupanya, takdelah apa pon. Diorang memang nyanyi2 aje, semua nursery rhymes yang biasa di dengar, except lagu baby jesus tu jelah...
Persembahan tu amik masa 20 minit je pon. Ingat nak snap videa, tapi tak dibenarkan. So, lepas habis show, baru boleh snap photo.

Backdrop dalam show tue... so, kesimpulannya, kalau hari raya nanti, alangkah bagusnya, kalau cikgu2 sekolah buat persembahan pasal kisah nabi2 kita pada umur anak2 nie 3-6 thn.

Overall, tabik spring kat cikgu2 sekolah diorang nie. Guru besar sekolah siap turun dan involve sekali. Lagilah nak handle budak2 umur 3-4 tahun nie. Kalaulah cikgu2 kat Msia jugak macam nie, kan bagus. Barulah Cikgu2 nie semua di anggap professional dan berada pada kelas mereka tersendiri.

And I guess, it's time for Malaysia untuk memperkasakan pembelajran pra-sekolah. Sekarang isteri PM dok buat, tapi baru untuk umur 5-6 thn ajer... itupon overall penglibatan 50%. Still far from target, yet, not too late.

Naim dan cikgunya... Naim jadi sheep... nyanyi baa baa balck sheep

Najwa dan cikgunya yang comey... belum kawin cikgu nie... Najwa jadi STAR... twinkle2 little star

Naim dan Najwa dan cikgu kat rumah dia.. hehhe,.. selepas persembahan.

p/s: naim muka tak happy sbb tak suka muka dia kena conteng kat idung.

Apa-apa pun... Malaysia perlu memperkasakan pengajaran Pra-sekolah.
tetiba rasa nak jadi menteri pulak, nak memperbaiki apa yang ada kat Msia. asyik buka universiti baru, je, baik buka sekolah wajib untuk kanak2 pra-sekolah nie...

wassalam...

christmas and nativity dan Naim

2009-12-15T14:15:00.000-08:00

Salam...

I was so excited when I know my son, Naim involved in Christmas Act in his nursery. Almaklumlah, he has speech problem and currently seeing speech therapist. I encouraged him to practice at home.

Then, 'abang angkat' came to our house last Friday and asked what type of story that Naim going to play. Aku pun tak tanya dia cerita apa... maklumlah, kalau aku tanya dia... dia pun tak berapa pandai nak jawab... dia ada speech problem... selalunya Naim cuma akan cakap... 'I become a sheep and I am going to sing a lot of song'

At home, he usually sing baa baa black sheep, santa clause, humpty dumpty and fews more song that are all usual nursery ryhme.

That abang angkat said 'make sure its not Nativity story, and if it is about the how the jesus birth and etc... then, he better pull out from the act'

Aku pun yang agak excited, tetiba ternganga... why? why? kenapa aku boleh tak terfikir pasal nie... Alhamdulillah ada orang yang ingat-mengingati di sini.

Last monday, I went to see his teacher.
Teacher tanya 'Aku agama apa?'
aku jawab 'I'm Muslim'. suddenly she said, 'Don't worry. A lot of other muslim children are involve as well.'

Then, I requested in mannered way regarding the story and what song they are going to sing... antara lagu yang disebut... semuanya.. lagu2 nursery ryhme tue laa... cuma ada satu yang aku tak berapa suka... lagu 'baby jesus'... and the act is about the navinity but NO dialogues involved only nursery rhymes...aku pun buat2 tak terkejut...

On that day, I just knew my daughter also involved and she's going to be a STAR in the navinity story.

On the way home, I was puzzled. Both children are involved....

Suddenly, I heard Najwa (my daughter) sang a song 'baby, baby jesus' ada lah 2-3 baris lagi dan astik ulang2... aku pon tak faham ayat dia... Terbeliak mata aku dengar. Tetiba rasa macam kena PELEMPANG ngan mak aku... Aduh!! sakitnya... baru aku tersedar...

Then, I discussed with my husband. Should Naim pull out from the act. urrrmmm.... ???
Then, after few calling2 and ask opinions from Ustaz2 di Dundee ni, depa kata : 'diorang boleh involve, cuma kena pastikan takde pergerakan2 yang menyembah, dan pesan selalu kat anak-anak, lagu tu tak elok untuk nyanyi, cuma nyanyi kat sekolah aje' macam gitulah ustaz tu cakap... lebih kurang...

As a mother, I still feel guilty. At the age of 3, Christian has started to teach all those things to their children. tapi Islam to be specific melayu di Malaysia pun sepatutnya kena rajin-rajin baca cerita kisah-nabi-nabi kepada anak2-anak. For me, maybe my kids dont really understand all those story, but if every year the school going to repeat it to our children then, they will undertsand.

Paling mengejutkab bila aku dengar cerita ada salah seorang anak Melayu disini yang parent dia dah 4 thn menetap di Dundee,dia dah berumur 6 thn, cakap pada ibu dia 'banyak sangatlah peraturan, itu tak boleh, ini tak boleh, saya nak masuk kristian lah... '

So, fikir-fikirkanlah... buat peringatan untuk aku sebagai ibu juga. So, marilah kita ajar anak2 kita selawat-selawat dan lagu-lagu yang baik...

SILA KLIK SINI : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0J_AHntqGBg

koordinator yang tidak koordinate

2009-12-11T05:24:00.000-08:00

Salam...

Orang kata ' belajar kat UK, Best, best, best...!' mungkin betul di beberapa tempat, tetapi tidak di Dental School, Dundee. Walaupun untuk undergrad Dundee is among the best dental school.

Nak melepaskan rasa tidak puashati terhadap koordinator yang tidak meng'koordinate' kursus yang aku ikuti sekarang.

Semalam, ada kelas statistics, dalam jadual yang coordinator tu hantar dia kata ada 3 series lectures, semalam bila time lecturer, Lecturer tu cakap pulak ada 5 series. Statistics class nie, kalau ikutnya kata 'koordinator' tu dia nak buat, awal semester dulu2, maknanya bulan Ogos lepas or September... tapi bertangguh-tangguh...
Kebetulan yang bagi lecture tu, my research project's supervisor (SV)... Kebetulan, petang tersebut, aku ada appointmnet dengan SV pukul 2. Bila aku pergi bilik dia... ada 'hot' discussion antara dia dengan seorang lagi lecturer yang akan beri statistic lecture tue...

Aku yang dok tunggu kat luar bilik, boleh dengar dialog diorang. Dari discussion mereka selama lebih kurang 20 minit, kedua-duanya memang tak puashati dengan cara koordinator aku handle kelas statistics nie... hehhe... (itu baru kelas statistic) ... kalau diorang tahu macam mana keadaan kelas2 lain, exam date setting, clinic etc, aku sure ramai lagi lecturers kat Dundee yang akan tak puashati dengan dia nie...

Bagi aku yang hanya faham kursus kami nie yang tidal mencakupi banyak syllibus ialah my clinic supervisor... (Dr R******) dia yang tahu macam2. Dialah yang sgt perihatin, buat extra kelas/tutorial to prepare for the final viva exam with the external examiner. Bila aku pergi tutorial dia nie, aku rasa memang banyak benda yang aku tak belajar lagi... risau jugak. Maklumlah balik nanti aku nak ajar orang pulak...

Well, kalau boleh ku pusingkan jam, tidak akan aku apply Dundee nie... Tapi, perlu teruskan jugak...

Yang best belajar di sini, references... tip-top
Dental materials... tip-top
Endo ... tip-top...

Sapa2 nak buat PhD kat sini, welcome... tapi untuk Endo + Dental Material + TMJ aje yang aku suggest...

yang lain2 tu, setakat suam2 kuku aje...

Berita kematian

2009-12-10T15:49:00.000-08:00

Salam...

Baru-baru banyak berita kematian berlaku pada saudara-mara yang sedang berjuang di Dundee. Kematian ayah kandung, anak dan kakak kandung membuatkan aku tiba-tiba rasa sedih, tapi sebab tengah tersangat sibuk dengan reseach project, jadi takdelah aku terfikirkan sangat. Walhal 'ingat mati' itu adalah salah satu dari sepuluh sifat mahmudah.

Apapun, malam tadi my husband mimpi dia balik Malaysia, dan memeluk erat ayah dan ibu nya di Balai ketibaan KLIA. Sebelum itu, dia ada bermimpi bertemu mak dan ayah aku di Mekah. Maklumlah dulu aku ada niat nak visit mereka masa krismas break kat Mekah, tapi disebabkan ongkos visa umrah yang mahal, maka terpaksalah aku lupakn niat itu walaupun tiket taklah berapa mahal. Sedang aku pulak, mimpikan berjumpa ibubapaku di Mekah, 4 hari lepas. Itu menandakan yang kami sangat2 merindui mereka. Tapi apakan daya.

Jika apa-apa terjadi kecemasan di Malaysia, belum tentu aku akan dapat pulang dengan kadar segera. Semalam, one of my classmates tanya;

'NOR, last year you didn't go back, how about this christmas?'

aku hanya tersenyum pada dia. Please don't ask... huhu...

and he asked again : Didn't you embassy buy ticket for you?' ...

I wish they could. KPT kena lah buat macam Saudi Arabia jugak... every 9 months they will be provided return ticket to visit their family back home. agak2nya, bila KPT nak buat macam nie??? Macam tak je rasa aku... maklumlah sekarang dengar cerita, family yang ada anak hanya boleh bawak anak sorang ajer... Dimanakah perikemanusiaan...??? hehhe....

Buat masa sekarang nie sebelum krismas nir, tengah bertungkus-lumus menyiapkan research projectku.. supaya aku boleh balik Msia secepat mungkin... aduh!! parahnya...

keropok leko VS kek coklat

2009-12-04T21:02:00.000-08:00

Salam...

Cerita makan anak2... aku rasa Naim agak cerewet dalam memilih makanan, tapi kalau si Najwa, selalunya, dia akan cuba dulu, then, kalau ok... baru dia makan.
Tapi kalau Naim, dia akan tengok dulu... lama... lepas tu kalau dia nak rasa, dia rasa... kalau sedap confirm licin, kalau tak sesuai ngan tekak dia, dia akan kata:

'Mommy, I'm full'.

Dah lama dulu, aku ada try buat keropok leko sendiri. Ingatkan Naim tak suka.. tapi sekali dia makan, nak lagi...nak lagi dan lagi...

Paling lawak, malam tu dia tidur, sampai termimpi-mimpi and mengigau sebut 'keropok'. walaupun keropok leko aku taklah sesedap keropok dari Trengganu, tapi at least lebih sedap dari kerokok leko yang ada jual kat pasar malam area KL tu.

My handmade keropok leko. First time buat. Kebetulan esok ada Sambutan AidilAdha dengan Melayu Dundee di sini. My husband insisted me suruh buat keropok leko nie lagi... hehhe... makne sedap lah tue... Aku??? baru aje, lepas uli keropok ni, kejap lagi nak goreng...

KEK COKLAT... Both of them always waiting for my moist chocolate cake. Naim sure will help me and wait till cake baked. Kekadang tu bila aku baru lepas letak kek dalam oven I told him

'wait for 45 minuts to bake the cake'

he replied 'No!!! 10 minutes only'.

pastu setiap lima minit dia akan kata, lagi 'Mommy I want cake'
sampai kekadang tu, naik geram gak aku masuk dapur tunjuk kat dia kek belum masak...

Tengoklah tu, mengadap kek dua beradik ni. Diorang boleh habiskan kek ni sebijik dalam masa 2 hari aje. Paling lawak, during the EiD we went to my Libyan friend's house and she bought M & S (mark and spencer) chocolate cake for them. Pastu budak berdua ni boleh cakap kat kawan aku tue..

'I want to go back and eat chocolate cake at home'

hehhe... kecik ati kawan aku tu agaknya...

Muka budak happy dapat makan kek. For me, to make them happy is the greatest things I would do. Rasa2nya, nak aje buat keropok leko selalu... tapi tak larat gak... hehhe...

By the way, just nak share the Libyan rice that one of my friends gave me. Really nice. Tapi malangnya... Naim tak nak makan... najwa aje yang makan... cuma kismis tu, semua kena asing tepi... Lamb yang sangat sedap and my husband makan hidangan ni untuk dia sorang ajer... sekelip mata dah habis...

Hari nie ada jamuan besar: aku nak stand by kosongkan perut siap2...

Raya yang tak berapa lengkap tanpa rendang

2009-11-28T16:09:00.000-08:00

hari ni dah ke tiga hari raya pon...

My Eid kat sini, bolehlaa... alhamdulillah, hari Jumaat tu takde kelas. So, lepas solat raya kat Masjid, aku beraya kat Hospital. Jeng! Jeng! Jeng!... Buat suspens jer... bukan apa, kebetulan aku ada appoinment on that day @ 11.00. So, malam sebelum raya tu, memang dah rancang tak mahu masak apa-apa...
lagipun ada invitation open house, so, lepas Check-up terus gi Open house, bawak anak2 makan... Malas sungguh.

Hidangan di pagi tersebut... NASI MINYAK. sedap!!! tapi takde makanan raya mcm ketupat, nasi impit dan rendang. So, tak pelah... sebab esok ada invitation lagi...

So, second day. Harapanku pun nak makan makanan raya, dapatlah jugak. Ada nasi impit + kuah kcg. aku mencari-cari jugak rendang... tapi takde... tapi terubat ngan mee kari yang sangat2 sedap. Najwa siap semangkuk habis. Merasalah makan kuih puteri mandi dan bubur bijik nangka... sedapnya. Bab makan, memanglah semua sedap.

So, raya ku mcm tak lengkap. esok, aku nak masak rendang daginglah... for myself + husband+ anak2.. hehe... anak2 bukan makan pon... kitorang aje... My husband request for nasi beriyani. Kalau rajin aku buatlah kot esok.

Sambil-sambil itu, aku masih menghidupkan suasana beraya kat rumah. menghidupkan 'ruh' Aidil Adha which is Bertakbir membesarkan Allah selama 3 hari. buat lepas solat.
So, Marilah kita bertakbir membesarkan Allah....

Cerita dari Mekah

2009-11-26T15:43:00.000-08:00

Salam,

I'm still trying to call my mom... dah berhari2 dah cuba, tapi asyik tak dapat ajer... tak tahu kenapa.
Abangku ada email... mak pesan suruh aku call dia. Harap2nya, dapatlah call dia esok pagi.
abang aku cakap, mak terjatuh... kat hotel escalator... tapi takde apa2 yang serius. maklumlah mama dah tak berapa sihat, jalan kena perlahan-lahan... bila perlahan... agaknya, jemaah dari belakang tolak...
Dengar cerita, mama dah beli wheelchair dah suruh abah yang tolak dia sebab nak prevent dari kena tolak-tolak. Alhamdulillah... moga mereka berdua mendapat kenikmatan haji...

Abang aku cerita lagi, from mama's hotel boleh nampak terus masjidil haram, keluar pintu hotel terus depan pinta masjidil haram... bila dengar macam tu.. lega rasanya...
sedang aku melayar2 blog, terjumpa gambar nie...

agaknya... inilah escalator tempat mak aku jatuh tu.. sebab depan cermin besar tu masjidil haram...

aku pun terus meninjau2 gambar2 lain dalam blog ni... kot-kot lah terjumpa mama dan abah...

aku cuma mendoakan yang terbaik buat mereka berdua.

cerita lain pulak, dengar nya, mekah hujan lebat, khemah dimasuki air... apa2 pun aku harap mama dan abah sihatlah hendaknya... dan mama tak lelah...

well, Esok raya... aku mendengar takbir... sayu!!!

Chaos in dental school, but he still...

2009-11-26T14:54:00.000-08:00

Salam,

Baru lepas jumpa SV lagi hari ni selepas aku membatalkan temujanji minggu lepas. I saw my SV this morning before the appoinment. He was busy with the External Reserach Audit that been carried out in our school for 2 days. He was one of the big name in research team in Dundee Dental School.
I thought when I saw him entertaining the Auditors he would come to me and said :

'Norlela, could we cancel or postponed our meeting today' ..

punyalah aku ni berniat tak baik.. al maklumlah, I haven't fully recovered from that cold and flu. Still coughing + severe headache. Lagipon, aku tak buat banyak journal reading last week, so it just like I dont really know why I should meet him today..

Cuma , I really respect their commitment. Actually, he asked someone to continue entertain those auditors because he had appoinment with me.
Agak2nya kalau aku jadi lecturer nanti, kalau Audit nak datang, sure aku cakap ngan student aku..

'kita cancel meeting, saya busy lah ada Audit ISO nie... '

I guess it's time for me to change the attitudes or lebih tepat lagi my attitude... especially to follow all the 'not so good experienced' which I had in UM.

Kat sini, jumpa lecturer dalam lif, diorang yg say 'HI'.. kalau aku kat UM dulu, lecturer masuk lif, student nak masuk dalam lif tu sekali pun berdebar2 macam nak kena viva.

Persoalannya : Boleh kah Berubah???

rasanya student akan cakap:

'eeii... takutnya Dr Norlela tu, garang betullah...'

Harap2 nya lah ek... Insyallah...

flu + cold = Collapse

2009-11-20T07:17:00.000-08:00

Salam..

Diserang selsema + batuk akibat kena hujan DUNDEE... bahaya betul hujan nie...

2 hari pengsan, tak usik langsung buku or journals. Last wednesday aku ponteng kelas, sbb tak larat bangun, semalam, cancel my meeting with SV, hari nie aku poteng kelas lagi. Tapi aku gagahkan jugak pergi library sebab aku ada 'hold request' journal nie. Kalau aku tak ambik hari nie, esok dia nak hantar masuk store balik...

On the way, balik library, tetiba kena hujan lagi. aduh!!! tetiba rasa nak balik Malaysia...
Kalau kat Malaysia, hujan lebat macam mana pun takde lah nak demam or selsema teruk macam nie. paling membosankan kalau pergi klinik, dia bagi pcm, pcm, pcm... tak effisyen langsung.

Kadang2 buat aku hairan, apalah yang orang Malaysia dok sibuk nak stay kat UK nie lama2. Dari segi servis kesihatan, tersangatlah susah nak buat appoinment jumpa GP. Ingat lagi masa nak amik appointment untuk najwa sebab selsema + demam; kena dtg after 3 days fever pastu after 5 pm pulak tue, sbb takut swine flu berjangkit dengan pesakit lain... agaknya, nak tunggu kena fit, baru korang nak bagi antibitoc agaknya... at least kat Msia, kita susah tengah malam macam mana pun boleh gi private clinic. Boleh lah tahan sampai esok...

Ceh!!! nie belum lagi kes ante-natal check-up. Memanglah semuanya free... tapi dah 20 minggu pregnant pun belum ada regular check-up dengan midwife. Kalau kat Malaysia, 5 weeks pregnant dah ada check-up every months.

For me, hujan emas di negara orang, hujan lebat kat Msia jugak yang best. main hujan pon tak demam.

Semua benda dalam kepala

2009-11-13T00:25:00.000-08:00

Salam...

ARRghhh...!!! tebiba semua benda berat jatuh atas kepala. Rasa macam tak tahu nak buat yang mana satu dulu. Satu-persatu.

1. Anak demam dah 2 malam- 2 malam dah aku tak buat apa-apa on my research project + tak cukup tidur.
2. Yesterday, met my SV without preparation, tapi I got few materials to show him. Alhamdulillah dia happy sebab I made my own initiative to search for 'very' old textbook. Cuma, dia bagi lagi dan bagi lagi dan bagi lagi arahan seterusnya... next week my SV pergi Spain, tapi still nak jumpa aku on Thursday. aku rasa nak cancellah appointment kali ni. Rasa a bit stress mungkin sebab penat dan tak cukup tidur kot.
3. My Malaysian neighbour gave birth to baby girl. Their first baby after 5 years of waiting. Aku rasa kewajipan aku kena tolong dia. Maklumlah, dia takde pengalaman.. tapi hari ni, aku macam tak berapa larat nak tolong dia... takpelah, semalam dah ajar, husband dia... hari ni aku tolong masak lauk aje dan mandikan baby dia... pastu kena chow gi school.
4. preparing for my presenation, in 2 weeks time... (yg ini boleh letak tepi dulu kot).
5. nak settle claim MFDS cepat, sebab nak guna duit tu untuk Part 2 exam fee which is £675... tapi USIM ni, tak balas2 pun email nie...
6. masih dalam dilema... revision course MFDS part 2 £600 for 2 days. hajat hati memang nak pergi... tapi ongkosnya...???? confirmlah aku terpaksa batalkan niat ku nak berjalan ke Istanbul....
7. Loan rumah ku yang sudah diperingkat akhir, tinggal nak setlle duti stamp je lagi... duit lagi.

Tetiba rasa tertekan, kenapalah USIM bayar gaji 'underpaid'~ pindah U kang baru tahu...

Tarik nafas!!! lepas!!! Tenangkan diri...

Teringat salah satu hadith cuma tak sure mcm mana bunyi nyer...
'kalau nak belajar, perlu ada 4 perkara... salah satunya sumber kewangan' -

Rahsia MFDSku

2009-11-09T10:32:00.000-08:00

Assalamualaikum...

Kali ni, aku amat2 bersyukur sempatlah sujud syukur kejap tadi kat school lepas dapat tahu MFDS part 1 result.

I can't imagine if I fail the exam.
Well, you know why I can't accept if I fail....

Okay, lets share.
I started to collect all the study materials before my summer break started. Bought all the books and etc.

I started my study 3 months before the exam date which is July, August, Sept sebab aku tahu aku nie lembab skit belajar nie. Orang lain baca sekali dah masuk, aku baca berkali2 baru masuk. Hadeel and Mohee started study in August.

I was very lucky to have my study group with me. To Hadeel and Mohideen many thanks for your concern.

They always said, I am the initiator, Hadeel the motivator and Mohee the coordinator.

Because I am the one who planned the study. If I dont attend the discussion, both them will just chat all day.

Then, Hadeel are the brilliant one who always make sure the study planner went as planned.

and Mohee are the one who make sure everyone get the same knowledge. He won't allow us to continue next topics if all three of us missed anything or forgot anything. I don't think I will pass without their help. Susah nak cari kawan yang macam nie.

We studied the difficult topics first which are Oral Patho and Oral Medicine in details. We did quite a lot of questions from books and pastyears. When we happy, we move to next difficult one: OS, Ortho. Then, the easy one perio and prostho on the last weeks before the exam. While studying the easy topics we keep on continued re-assess our knowledge on OM and OP to make sure it retained in our 'kepala otak' nie...

Then,

I sacrificed my weekend. Saturday and Sunday I will be in the library from 10.00 to 4pm. Alhamdulillah, my husband was very supportive. Kalau study kat rumah dengan anak2 lagi, confirm tak concerntrate. Weekdays pulak, memang everyday I went off to library at 9.00am and continue up to 6pm and sometimes up to 7 pm.

Suddenly, in September I was sick. Terrible one because I am #######. Our study group still continue as usual, but I cant really cope with my study plan. But, Hadeel and Mohee understand my situation. They willing to repeat all the stuff that I missed when I was having this sickness. They said 'it like revision for them'. tapi kalau orang lain... belum tentu nak repeat untuk aku. huhuh... dah lah make sure aku balik aku dpt apa yang diorang ajar tue.. kalau tak diorang aku tak bagi balik.

Well, macam mana pun... aku bersyukur sangat2 sebab dah lulus part 1 nie. sekurang2nya I have second change for my part 2 next year if anything happens before I go back for good.

Conclusion:
1. Collect material
2. Study group
3. Plan your study
4. Sacrificed few things... + moral support...

Wassalam.
p/s takde niat nak berlagak. cuma pengorbanan ku berbayar...
Now, I'm planning for Part 2.

Mama happy + tak happy

2009-11-07T08:04:00.000-08:00

Salam,

Just talked with my family via skype. She looks so happy because she going to perform her hajj this year. All my siblings were at home because tomorrow got 'kenduri'.

Ingatkan kat drama-drama melayu je berlaku kes orang takde niat langsung nak tunai haji, rupanya... ada jugak insan yang Allah belum bukakan hatinya untuk tunaikan haji.

Hopefully, my mom going to have safe journey.

Sedih gak takde masa kenduri... yelah selalu kalau kenduri aku ngan my sis yg selalunya tak menang tangan. tapi kali ni, kak longku dari johor ada balik. Alhamdulillah....

Minta mama doakan aku lulus cepat, dipermudahkan segala urusan, so that aku boleh balik by July 2010 dan siap dengan MFDS sekali. Boleh ke? aku mengharap 'keajaiban'.

Ponteng kelas OR naim

2009-11-07T07:54:00.000-08:00

Salam...

I need to bring Naim for his appointment with Speech Therapist on 16th Nov. Well, I postponed his appointment twice because of 'unplan' timetable given from my coordinator. It sucked!!!

We only know our nextweek timetable on the friday before the new weeks started. ~~Sometimes...~~ usually he forget and put it up to our email box on Monday.

Aduh!!! I need to present my topic on 'telescopic crown' on that day. Macam mana lah nie... nak minta tukar ke lagi appointment nie? or... aku ponteng kelas tak payah present langsung...

I try to swap with other collegues, tapi sebab last minit notice semua mcm tak sanggup nak present awal. As for me, I have prepared for the presentation... mmg aku ni jenis tak suka buat kerja last minit. Tapi jadual pulak tak kena...

Still waiting who are willing to swap with me. Hopefully adalah yang sanggup. Dah tanya 2 orang, tapi 2-2 tak sanggup sebab awal sangat...

urrmm...
kalau takde jugak...??? ntahlah...

Family comes first... Naim need attention. huhuh.... Pening...!!

Good things happen when you go for it.

2009-11-03T14:21:00.000-08:00

Salam,

"Good things happen when you go for it. "

This quote was taken from of one of my friends FB. I read it early in the morning as a good motivation for myself.
My morning was full of energy and I planned my work for today, hopefully Good thigs happen because I search for it. Maklumlah nak siapkan my presentation on 'telescopic crown'. Pagiku yang berkobar2.

While preparing my PP slides, suddenly, it was ruined when I received email from my SV. I was a bit down + sad + heart broken. I felt like an idiot.

By noon, everythings I planned still run smoothly... again until I knew one of my patient suddenly cancelled her appointment 20 minutes before my clinic started, and the other patient did not turn up. rasa mcm nak mengamuk pun ada, nak makan kertas pun ada...

makan keropok leko lagi sedap!!!

Then, I went to the lab to take photo for my logbok. I got bad news from Adrian (technician) that I need to re-take my post cast impression. There was crack on the cast model due to my poor impression, maybe!!! For sure lah supervisor aku kat clinic dah 'approved' impression tu. Tetiba rasa macam nak makan je camera aku tue... tapi depan technician tu, aku buat2 cool aje.

But ended up, I was happy. I can carry on with my presentation. (yelah konon).

By afternoon eh evening (maklumlah skrg maghrib kul 4.30pm), when I got back from school, fed my kids and myself, solat and doa, sent them to bed.... then I read back my SV's comment. I realised I need to RE-ORGANIZED my project.

Now, I'm recharged. Full of energy. baru habis re-organized. Alhamdulillah.

There's always reason behind those bad things happen. All the blight that ruined your day, if you take it in positive way... There's something good behind it.

Well, Allah Know Best what for you. As for me, I feel lucky. Yang penting sebelum tidur, aku happy.

Ok, nak sambung my reading.

p/s: nak buat kepok leko this weekend. thanks to the 'pemberi resipi'

An Appreciation from patient

2009-10-24T04:20:00.000-07:00

salam,

Tengah boring dan mengantuk di pagi Sabtu tadi, sementara mata nak terlelap lepas makan nasi lemak dan menidurkan anak pompoan aku, tetiba ada orang ketuk pintu umah.

'There's flowers form Mrs Yacob'... my hubby dah buat muka jeles. pakwe mana pulak bagi bunga kat isteri aku yang comei nie... hehhe...

rupanya, from one of my patients.

tetiba hilang rasa mengantuk aku, terus bangun tidur, amik bau bunga tu.

then, kenalah rearrange bunga tu balik.

cari2 vase, tak jumpa lantas aku pakai ajelah jug air kat dapur.

hehe... kembang rasanya bila ada orang appreciate kijer kita.

Tq.

project oo... project

2009-10-24T02:52:00.000-07:00

Salam,

While everybody is searching for the latest journals for their references, but for me, its totally different.

My research project is about Chronological Review. Sound weird? never heard about it... hehhe... me too. Masa mula2 dapat topic nie, ingatkan systematic review and I will be dealing with meta analysis and statistics and etc. wah!!! terror lah nanti aku statistics.

Rupanya tidak!!! my supervisor said, no one ever done that this type of review. Dah nama pon chronology, so my starter paper was believe begin from 1856. When I requested this manuscript from library, it was like old book. He asked me to search any papers before 1856. mak aii!!! paling menakjubkan, hand-drawing of the dentinal tubules. Page tu dah siap ada kulat tumbuh.

I met him this morning. We had more than 1 hour discussion. SV aku nie sajer jer nak test aku, buat reading ke tak? When I mentioned topics that I came accross through my reading, suddenly he said one by one the important journals that I should have. Luckily, most of the journals that he mentioned, I already have it.He even sent me email the journal in 1938 he read. Waaa...!!! kalau dah ada mengapa dia tak send kat aku awal2 dulu. Dia memang nak tunggu aku cari dulu, pastu baru dia bagi.

Okay, I accept his challenge. Hopefully I can cope with it.
I feel that my research project has heating me up. Larat ke aku?? buat2 larat je laa...

p/s-terjumpa paper before 1856, tapi cakap Arab dan German... kena buat translationlah pulak nampaknya :(. Terjuling mataku sekejap.

Now, I know...

2009-10-20T21:17:00.000-07:00

salam,

Berita sedih dari Msia nie lama dah aku tahu kira 2 minggu, tapi... cuba untuk tak fikirkan... tapi nak buat macam mana terfikir jugak...

Good news is my mom finally can perform hajj this year... tapi disebaliknya... macam2 benda yang tak best berlaku. Keluarga dan aku.

nie yg buat aku rasa nak balik Msia secepat mungkin nie...!!!

Well, Now I know...

Why Allah choose me to be here in Dundee, neither Msia nor London. Syukur Alhamdulillah. I dont really have problem with my study and I can focus well in my study. For sure kalau kat Msia, aku mesti dah susah hati... kat sini susah hati gak.. tapi sbb jauh, so, tak payah nak pening kepala sangat..

Now, I know...
Seem, everything smoothly planned for me. Senang dapat clinical case, banyak bende baru belajar. Some of my friends struggling to get crowns and bridge case, but for me... Alhamdulillah. Sampaikan aku tak nak dah patient baru. Who plan for me? Allah...

Now, I know...
Even though, I have financial problem back home, but it was balanced with my study. Rasa macam nak transfer jer duit saving aku ke Msia, tapi nak kena stand-by gak. biarlah yang kat Msia tue... Insyallah, perlahan-lahan, oklah tue. Loan rumah aku, insyallah, settle dalam bulan depan, so.... legalah skit.
Syukur Alhamdulillah...

Now, I know...
You can ask whatever you want with doa, but always remember that He gives the best for you. He test you, to see how you would able to manage it and how thankful are you.

Now, I know...
I should be Thankful. Alhamdulillah.

cerita muffin

2009-10-20T20:46:00.001-07:00

salam,

I baked muffins from Cik Maya Izar's recipe. sapakah si Maya Izar ini? hehe... one of my best friend who visited me last 2 months...

The original recipe was bluesberries or strawberries muffin, my husband do not like berries, so it become chocolate muffin instead. Disebabkan kesedapan muffin inilah I was allowwed for window shopping by myself. hehe... selalunya my hubby mesti nak ikut, and suh bawak anak2 sekali, tapi dia kata 'boleh gi shopping sorang, tapi nak upah muffin'

yahooo... kacang je upah tue...

2 orang budak kecik yang sanggup tunggu depan oven, gara2 muffin sedap nie...

credit to tuan punya recipe.

Cekik Darah...

2009-10-17T08:46:00.000-07:00

Salam,

Recently, I read my friend's status on FB. She's complaining of milk production is low. Jangan pulak terkejutzz tetiba cerita pasal susu. Actually, she's nursing her baby with help of very high quality MEDELA PISA. pergh!!! check this out

PErgh!!! harga dia kat UK £215.

She bought RM1500 in Malaysia.

Yet, her baby only 4 months old but her milk production has reduced.

bukan apa... as a succesful mother who breastfed my children up to 2 and half years old... aku rasa macam membazir duit ajer. Dulu aku pakai breastpump cap 'Ayam' jer pon.hehhe....
Ada jual ke cap 'ayam'.. ??ala.. pakai pureen aje baru RM50. pastu aku suh my husband bought me adapter so that, I dont need batteries that only last for one day.

hehhe... kalau aku dipanggil bagi ceramah pasal breasfeeding sure company2 nie mengamuk ngan aku. Well, they encourage breasfeed but their product too pricey...

and the lastest one I just checked from Medela website ada Breastpump fresstyle. kat Msia harga dia RM1700. Yang ini katanya, kalau memandu pon boleh pam susu lagi. WAH!!! WAH!!! maybe for new mother, they will buy it for the sake of giving the best food for their baby. But, they should understand that the milk production stimulation is not because of the good breastpump. It's all from your mindset.

Advices for those who want to success in breastfeeding:

1. Try to start breastfeed as soon as possible (1 hour) after give birth. Memanglah penat meneran belum habis. tapi takkan nak bior jer nurse tu susu anak korang ngan botol.

2. If you baby sleep more than 3 hours, wake him up and feed him. Tapi kalau dia nak tido gak, korang must make sure korang perah susu tu simpan.

3. Feed your newborn baby every 2-3 hours to increase milk production.

4. Make sure you are comfortable when you feed your newborn, and emotionally relax and calm.

5. Kalau korang bersalin kat swasta, sure dia tak bagi baby korang tido ngan korang dengan harapan ibu kena relax... tapi korang yg rugi. So, susuilah anak anda.

6. IMPORTANT> MIND SET... my milk is always sufficient for my baby. Dont ever think it's not enough.

banyak lagi advice nie.. tapi takpelah...

p/s : dulu Prof Harlina Harlizah ada panggil I suruh bagi ceramah about breastfeed kat UKM, but I was busy at that time. katanya 'susah nak cari professional yang boleh breasfed baby mcm aku' ~ kembanglah sekejap kena puji.

It's more than 3 months

2009-10-14T19:30:00.000-07:00

Salam,

I just realized that I have not been to City Centre since August. FUH!!! 3 months tue...Tomorrow I plan for sightseeing in Dundee City.Apalah yang ada pon kat sana... tapi sajer jer lah.

Ini semua gara2 exam.

Even my husband said I changed a lot after the exam over. Logiklaa... no more stress + no more next exam.

Now, I just concerntrate on my research project + update my logbook.

Yestersay, I went to meet my SV. Sent my essey opinion regarding dentine sensitivity and select some articles. Out of 20, 5 articles were incorrect. Fuh!! nasib baik belum tergelincir topic. I already have 3 chapters in my head for in introduction.

Today's plan: If weather ok, gi jalan2 jap, kalau mood baik nak bawak anak2 gi main bowling lah... pastu baru continue project.

opppsss!!! hari ni nak kena email Dato' dekan. Maklumlah semua result school exam dah kuar.

Setelah sekian lama...

2009-10-07T23:27:00.000-07:00

Salam...

Setelah sekian lama, akhirnya aku masuk balik Blog aku nie. Bukan blog aku je yang aku tak visit, blog kawan-kawan pun dah lama sangat dah. Busy dengan preparation exam plus keadaan kesihatan yang tak berapa mengizinkan. Rindu sangat nak baca blog kawan-kawan, tapi apakan daya.!!! :))

Eventhough, tomorrow I still have my last ever exam (hopefully), yet I don't really care about tomorrow's exam. This geriatic module.... BOSANNYER>>> This exam had been postponed since last semester. ini semua gara my coordinator yang ikut sangat cakap Pak2 Arab nie..

Lagi satu...Mana taknyer... bila baca notes jer, asyik teringat all the questions and answers of my MFDS exam... ngeri... ngeri...

For the time being, Berdoa ajelah...

Sambil tu... tengah dok fikir nak berjalan ke mana pulak ek cuti Chrismas nie...#wink#

Trip to Glasgow

2009-08-01T12:02:00.001-07:00

This trip purposely plan because I saw offer from Premier Inn. Stayed for 2 nights. I booked the hotel before planning our journey.

I love natures. So, the best part was the Sweeney cruise in Loch Lomond. It was Amazing. Subhanallah!!! I booked the cruise without my husband agreement... sebab my husband tak suka nature... tapi yelah... yg penting aku suka...

And I never thought our kids gonna like it. But, they really enjoyed it...!!!

STIRLING CASTLE...!!! First destination.

It took 1 hour driving from Dundee to Stirling Castle. We just took photos outside the castle without going in....because it not in our main POI (place of interest)... at least dah touch-down. (sebenarnya, admission fees dia mahal, mcm tak berbaloi jer)...

Some people said, there's a lot of castles in UK and Europe, and all of it are almost the same. So, if you wan to visit castle, just visit Edinburgh castle. So, that why kitorng tak masuk...

But, the beautiful of Stirling is the village/city around the castle. It is a vey classic town. The houses and shops have it own identity.

Blair Drummond Safari Park, about 10 minutes driving from the castle.

The concept of this park was brilliant. We drive car with closed window and we could see all the wild animals in their group. Paling Best tengok crowd of lion bersepah-sepah kat park nie.

Of course kids loved it. Me, I love this photo... hehhe....

Perangai mak budak yang dah lupa dunia...

We spend whole day here!!!!

Second Day: Glasgow Sightseeing...

70 minutes on double-decker bus. At least we knew what are the beautiful landmark in Glasgow, so, next time we could come again. We got vouchers from Premier Inn for this tour, so, guna jerlaa...

I'm not really enjoyed it because my daughter sibuk nak tidur dalam bas nie... tak faham :-(

George Square... Gloomy weather, photo tak cantik sgt

After that....

We went to theme park M&D...the biggest theme park in Scotland, katanyer...

yang nie pun aku tak suka sangat sebab dah pergi Drayton Manor Park hari tu during my easter break, 10 kali ganda lagi best dari park nie...

tapi sebab my husband nak pergi jugak, this park... so, ikut jer laa...

then, we went back to our hotel.

Third day: Loch Lomond....!!!!! the best part on our final day

Ini yang kutunggu-tunggu. The cruise....

Loch Lomond Shore was superb. Those who are shopaholic, sila lah datang sini...

On the shore has mini train ride, boat and cycling area, Sealife Aquarium... (yg nie kami tak sempat masuk), picnic area, camp site area... best arr...

ini bukan cruise nye... hehhe :P

ini yg betul...

Rasa macam nak pergi lagi... hehhe...

Then, around 4 pm we went back to Dundee...

Cuti ...!!!! Yang menggembirakan...

2009-07-31T13:26:00.000-07:00

Summer break aku lama... 6 weeks. But I started my holiday only after the 3rd week. Bila Koordinator nampak muka kau kat fakulti lagi, dia dok tanya... "What' your plan for summer?" aku dengan muka sedih jawab, " I haven't plan any... :P"...

Well, my summer was really2 great.

1. First Day out: picnic @Broughtyferry:

Transport: Driver berbayar a.k.a Bus
Date: 2 July 2009
Activities: Picnic and manda-manda serta cuti mata

Anak sapalah nie tak pakai baju... orang lain semua kulit putih... nie kaler coklet jer..

bentang saprah... makan nasi lemak. My hubby's favourite. (the way to save money and budget holiday is cook your own lunch)

2. Day Out 2: Barbeque dengan Komuniti Melayu Dundee (KMD)
Transport : sewa keta dapat keta comey... Chevy
Date: 12 July 2009
Tempat : Glenisla
Activities: MAKANNnnn.... ada orang buat aqiqah anak dia so, dapatlah merasa Lamb yang dimarinate dengan 3 cara: English, Arab dan Melayu. itu belum termasuk, mee sup, soto, kuah kacang, karipap, cekodok bilis etc... etc...

Post-mortem: berat badan bertambah + makan free...

Alhamdulillah, solat berjemaah. selepas kekenyangan sebelum santapan kali kedua...

Glenisla... has nice and cold river... Naim masuk sungai terus ter'pee'... but wee bit (wee dlm bahasa scotland=little/small)

Look!!! if you're not gaining weight, that's mean something wrong with your body system...

3. Day out 3: Montrose & Arbroath
Transport: sewa keta lagi... chevy gak pinjam Sat Nav orang.
Date: 13 July
Tempat : Farm picking, Montrose and Harbour, Arbroath
Activities: Pick my own strawberries.. yum2. yang best... makan sampai kenyang kat kebun nie pun tak per... MAKAN LAGI

Post-Mortem: I gave some of my strawberries to my classmate and she said "Norlela, you're gaining weight". maksudnye... "faham2 sendiri laa..."

Rasberries... yang ranum.

The best things about this farm, we can eat while picking. So, by the time we want to pay what inside the basket, half of it was already in you tummy.

nasib baiklah dia tak timbang perut...

4. Day Out 4: St Andrew

Transport: Chevy yang aku sewa tu jugaklaa... last day sebelum return.
Date:14 July 2009
Tempat: Museum Free Admission... sbb tengah tunggu elaun masuk... wakakaka...
Acticities: tersesat jalan sebab takde Sat Nav, so, buang masa dalam kereta ajer.. tapi sempatlah try baju2 English kat Muzium tue...
Post-Mortem: Planning to buy cheap Sat Nav because we still have alot of interreting place to visit.

Okey. habis part 1. nantikan part 2 Glasgow....

Gave Birth and being left alone

2009-07-13T15:10:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I visited one of my Muslim Nigerian friend who live in our flat, in university accomodation. She called me around 10.30 pm last night and informed me that she had gave birth for baby girl named Zainab. Though I knew she had gave birth from her husband 4 days ago, but I forgot to visit her because I was busy with my summer plan BBQ, farm picking etc...

When I arrived at her house, I was shocked... She left alone. She just gave birth 6 days ago. Okey.. This was her third baby, and she have I boy aged 2 and girl aged 3+... I cant believe she being left alone with those kids.

Her husband need to go to London for research attachement. I dont understand.... If it was me... I will make sure my husband stay with me at least until 2-3 weeks and regain the strenght back.

She was in pain. Body aching, headache and still need to manage newborn with 2 little kids.

When she told me she was in pain, I knew she wanted to cry but she tried soooo hard to hide it from me...

This morning, after I prepared early breakfast and lunch at 8.30am, I went to visit her. When I arrived, she was feeding her 2 kids and the newborn baby was crying in the room. Then, I took over to feed the kids and asked her to breastfeed her baby.

I bathe her kids. I realized her 2 years old boy has fever. I gave him PCM and try to wet him and hope that his temperature will reduced. Fortunately, she already made an appointment for him and her husband's friend is going to send him to GP.

I prepared breakfast and tea for her. Then I bathe the newborn baby Zainab. When I bathe her, there a lot of flakes on her skin. It show that this baby probably never been bath. ( I guess..). Then, I asked her do you have babybath cream for newborn... she said 'oh!! It finished I forgot to buy the new one'... I just hope its for real.

Takkanlah baby baru 6 hari babybath cream dah habis... uurrm... so, I bathe her and used soap for the children... Hopefully it won't cause any skin problem later.

Then, aku pakaikan baju cantik2 kat Zainab, letak ubat pusat dia. aku bedung dia.. Ceh!! buat style Melayu. Then, she slept easily...

Then, aku pinjamkan bengkung mahal aku kat dia and pakaikan kat dia. takpelah... halal lah tue...

I knew she want me to stay longer but, I promised my husband I will be back within 2 hours because we plan for picnic in St Andrew...

Moral of the story:

Betul2 rasa kesian bila tengok dia... tapi sebagai wanita... walau di mana kita berada, we need to be strong. Whatever the situation is, we must always be prepared.

Masa mandikan baby, rasa best sangat...!!! rasa macam tak sabar je nak mengandung lagi no 3 nie.. hehehe

I just hope her 2 years old boys got better. otherwise I dont think she can relax and have a good sleep tonight. yelah... kalau demam panas kena sawan kang, satu hal pulak...

Bila cerita ngan my husband, dia geleng kepala.... he knew how hard it was, because he was the one who taking care of me during my confinement day.

Tomorrow I will visit again..

Naim won his first competition...

2009-07-01T02:38:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was the second last day for this year for Naim. He had a party in his school.

I dressed him up and sent him as usual. When I picked him.... yesterday was a bit different. Mrs Martin (Naim's teacher) came with wide smile on her face.

"He won today. He's good at dancing. We never thought he could dance well."

the prize was:

a bottle of bubble ... hehhe. bolehlaa... asal ada.

aku!!! pun terkejut.

'He is now a happy boy'. That was Mrs Irving told me 3 weeks ago. yeah!! After struggling and took more than 3 months for him to settle in the nursery. Mrs Irving knew better. :-)

Though he had delayed speech but now he starts talking. Alhamdulillah.... But yet Naim still had appointment with Peads in August. I still want him to be assess because he still cannot hold pencil properly and the way he walks a bit weird... Hopefully... everything goes well.

Early detection is better... at least I know how to manage it...

Nekad untuk berhijrah....

2009-06-20T16:29:00.000-07:00

Apabila jalanku buntu dan mula bercelaru... aku berniat untuk hijrah. Tapi penghijrahan yang benar-benar memerlukan kekuatan dan sokongan semua. Hijrah dari KKM ke universiti. Dulu aku kurang yakin hijrah ku ini berbaloi...

Namun
Setelah berhijrah... BENARLAH... jalan kupilih nampak mudah. Allah permudahkan segala.

Dari mencari tempat untuk belajar, sedang belajar.... dan sekarang, amat terasa nikmat kurniaan Allah. Mungkin Allah sengaja ingin menduga hambanya, berani atau tidak untukku berhijrah.

Disini kuditemukan sesuatu yang berharga yang belum tentu kutemu jika aku masih di Malaysia. Hidayah Allah, Ilmu Allah dan kasih sayang Allah... untuk diriku, suami dan anak-anak.

Today, my husband and I attended UZAR (Utz Zahiruddin Abd Rahman) Islamic financial course. Subhanallah... Knowledge is something you gained it was utterly valueable if you IKHLAS. Clarifying a lot of riba' and shubhah that continuesly going on around us.

Now, it's my turn to hijrah. Hopefully all the inheritant debt would no longer bother my children as it bother my life. Insyallah.

Persahabatan II

2009-06-16T15:33:00.000-07:00

Beberapa insidens berlaku kebelakangan ini membuatkan aku tiba-tiba teringat pada kawan baikku semasa di sekolah dulu... Paling best, tak sangka bila dah kahwin ada anak, umur pun dah bertambah, dapat bertemu mereka semua dalam FACEBOOK.

Baik yang amat rapat... dimana semua kisah suka duka dikongsi bersama
Yang biasa2 aja... dimana kisah suka jer dikongsi bersama
Dan yang tak rapat... tapi tetap kawan... semua aku add dalam facebook.

Dari zaman sekolah rendah, Asnita, Anita, Hartini, Noor, member baik geng bas sekolah... eh!!! waktu tu semua naik basikal. Peristiwa paling manis bila school menang Netball, volleyball dan handball... balik2 muka berlima nie jer yg jadi wakil sekolah... we tried to set up hockey team for school, but end up we dont have enough player, so, Cikgu Z (Zakaria) yang soh cancelled everything...

Bila masuk SMATH, maka jadilah aku student sekolah agama hisamuddin Kg Jawa yang terkenal dengan kisah objek di langit.. (waktu ni aku form 1). Jumpa kawan baru... Noor Hafidzah Abdullah Salleh, Ujiwatie, uji, fidah, cheeda ir, lileen, syura, cemah, shiput ramai lagilah... sbb masa nie, zaman remaja... so, suka langgar peraturan sekolah... aku lah tu ketuanya... Kahhhkaahhh... peristiwa yang paling tak leh lupa dengan diorang nie, malam prep sepatutnya, study... tapi kitorang nie siap berkompang bagai... sampai bernasyid. FUH!!! suara paling sedap... uji ngan syura... tapi paling best drum beat LIN..

tengah2 syok nyanyi, dtglah warden..Ustaz Shaari... 'antunna semua nie kenapa menyanyi...?' (antunna dlm bahasa arab= awak semua untuk perempuan)... kelam kabut lah kita semua mlm tu... dan aku dengan jahatnya, telah menekan loceng sekolah (dulu loceng sekolah manual, cheeda ir yg tekan especially waktu rehat dan balik)...sekuat hati bagi memekakkan
telingan ustaz itu... huhuh... nakalnya aku. Tapi aku dah minta maaf ngan dia...

I wish we could meet and nasyid beramai2 once again...
bila some of us pindah KIK and MRSM... maka tinggallah memori itu... namun tetap segar dlm ingatan aku...

Di MRSM Kuantan, I met yati BWP, Ainal Fidza, Melanie, Ienna, Bogan, Sme, Wahida, Cieyat, K Niza... yg kuat gelak.. Yuli...
walaupun ada beberapa insiden yang menusuk kalbu di zaman sekolah tapi bila dah hujung2 tahun, barulah terasa dan tahu siapa kawan dan siapa lawan... bila aku tinggalkan MRSM, maka yang saat tak manis tu, telah kudelete... sampai sekarang aku masih rasa she was among my best friend I ever had. Kalau aku jumpa dia aku tetap akan tegur dia.

To all my best friends, friends, and not so friends... All the best in your life. May Allah bless you.

I wish I could upload some photos, but semua gambar kat Msia...

Study in UK...

2009-06-06T12:31:00.000-07:00

Tak lama lagi genaplah setahun aku mengikuti Program Master Dental Science MDSc (Prsothodontic). Kesimpulan yang dapat kukatakan dalam tahun yang pertam ini:

Kursus aku ni, tak tersusun langsung. Management of the faculty was poor. Tidaklah seperti yang kudengar. Ingat kan best sangat belajar kat UK nie... MUngkin Dundee ni ajer kot... tapi yang lain2 tu... best lah agaknya...
Kursus aku nie macam confuse jer.. Prostho ke COns. macam lebih ke Cons jer... sepatutnya ada more discussion in Prostho tapi... tidak seperti yang kuharapkan... Soalan exam pulak, terlalu senang. disebabkan terlalu senang tu lah aku rasa mcm kursus BDS yang dipendekkan tempohnya... Belajar kat UM lagi mencabar... cuma selepas exam untuk module Endo and Dental materials jer yang nampak bagus skit... manatak nyer.. dean aku endodontist... hehheh.

Some of my friend said: I'm wasting my time without enough clinical practice... Itu aku setuju gak... abih kalo masuk klinik seminggu 2 kali jer... apa ke jadahnya... pastu orang bukan nak buat simple fillings, kita dtg sini nak tengok complicated case...

Dalam pada itu yang aku suka:

Lecturer baik2... walaupun ada yang mcm giler skit.
senang skit lah aku nak pass... cuma aku nak kena prepare betul2 for viva with the external examiner. Lain2 tu kira aku dah pass... CEH!!! confident jer...
Banyak masa untuk family. takdelah rasa berat sangat.
Best!! sebab boleh jalan2 tengok tempat/negara orang: tapi kalau ada duit... bestlah... kalo mcm aku yang harap duit scholar jer... mmg tak berapa best sangat pun...

Walau bagaimanapun.... aku sedar, aku datang UK nie di taja. Balik aku akan mengajar anak bangsa aku pulak. Walaupun aku sangat2 sedar yang ilmu aku dapat nie tak cukup, aku tahu Allah akan tanya aku... Ko nie nak ajar orang, tapi tak belajar betul2... tak takut ke rezeki tak berkat...

so, aku ambil inisiatif aku sendiri untuk do my own reading. Aku banyak gak baca2 journal yang mmg confirm takkan ditanya dalam exam... sebab aku sedar... tujuan aku dtg sini bukan nak lulus exam jer, tapi nak cari ilmu untuk anak bangsa aku juga...

Kesimpulannya: kalau kita nak jadi pandai, bukan maknanya, kita score A jer dalam exam... tapi kita kena cari ilmu untuk diri kita sendiri kerana Allah.

isu.....PPSMI

2009-03-13T16:04:00.000-07:00

Salam,

My MoM was born in the last era of MCE. She managed to sit last MCE in Malaysia but she repeated her SPM as she is the first batch is sitting the SPM after repalcing the MCE.(Malaysian Certificate Examination). kira zaman dulu sama standard ngan SPM...
I really respect my parent because both of them eventhough only had SPM and my Dad only finished his Form 4, but thier English was so good. Sebab masa zaman diorang, memang belajar dalam bahasa Inggeris...

Secara peribadinya, saya memang tak berapa nak setuju ngan PPSMI nie. It just for the sake of ENGLISH but not for knowledge.
Nak tahu kenapa saya minat belajar? Sebab zaman saya semua belajar dalam BM. I knew all the basic knowledge in Science and Math. Lantak pilah English aku teruk pon... even sampai sekarang... tapi aku berjaya gak... it just the matter how you face your inferior to learn and speak English.

When I was in form 1-3, I was among the best student who got A in PMR. Masa tu kira mcm aku ni pandai sgtlah english kat sekolah tue... maklumlah sekolah agama... SMATH. Campared to my sisters who went to Methodthis school, mmg kaka2 ku punya English lagi baguslah dari aku masa tue....hehhe...

bila aku naik form 4 gi MRSM Kuantan... barulah aku terasa dunia Englishku sangatlah lemah... berbanding ngan kawan2 serta roomates ku yg mmg ckp English berabuk habisss.... nak bercakap pon malu giler... tapi aku buat bodoh jer... aku tahu aku pandai, cuma aku tak pandai English jer... so, apahal korang nak berlagak ckp English ngan aku... tak cair pon...

Tapi sebenarnya... memang terasa diri kita kecil, lagi2 bila bergaul dengan kawan2 yang anak orang berada nie... huhuh. memang kadang rasa nak menangis pon ada. sapalah aku nie, anak orang biasa2 ajer...
TApi Alhamdulillah. I am a strong person. I am very determined. Merangkak2lah belajar English sendiri to improve my English. Read novel, my favourite was Stephen King. But I stop reading when I was busy in UM doing my dentistry course.

DENTISTRY di UM...5 years
Ramai orang dok kutuk grad UM tak pandai English (ini untuk anak2 Melayu yang bukan orang berada dan ada kabel2 fibre optik... kalo yg mmg anak orang kaya, mmg english diorang power2 yang study kat UM tue...hehheh).... Aku peduli apa...korang nak cakap, cakaplah. Tapi one thing that I am sure, korang tak dapat ilmu yg bagus if you did not go to a good school.

Bila aku dah kerja... persekitaran office ku semasa di Kuching dulu, mmg pakai Engliah, so... my English was improved, but then, I left there and worked in peripheral clinic, mula English jadi teruk balik... sebab apa??? TAK PRACTICE.

APalah aku melalut nie... tapi yang pasti apa yg aku nak bagitahu... BIARLAH DIKEKALKAN Sains and Math dlm BM. kalo tak lagi teruk orang melayu nak maju... at least kalo ada student yg mcm aku nie, tak pandai English, tapi nak belajar sbb minat dan faham at least nak juga student tu amik tahu... kalo tak diorang akan ketinggalan.... sebab diorng tak boleh nak ambil tahu... sebab diorang tak boleh faham English... macam mana diorang nak amik tahu...

Bila dah sampai peringkat buat degree, then barulah wajibkan dalam ENGLISH... barulah betul...

Sekadar pandangan peribadi seorang anak Melayu yg dulunya lemah bahasa Inggeris.

A week after my 30th birthday

2009-02-21T16:32:00.000-08:00

I was born in 15th February 1979...

Monday. MOOD: SAD
I had a terrible week after my birthday. Th monday was first started with my clinic case. I need to re try in my denture because i got the wrong setting eventhough the OVD was right. (Only dentist will understand) hehhe...hhe
in the afternoon I had practical skills lab. I need to cut the 3/4 crown prep for canine.The started was good, bit when i need to cut cut the groove, I ruined everything.
Therefore... The most unwanted phrase in dentistry is "REDO" came our from the supervisor. but of course the Scottish people are polite, so he did it in a very gentle and polite way... kalo kat UM dulu... "saya tak nak tengok... REDO"

second day... Tuesday.
MOOD: SAD +++
I had miscommunication with my beloved one. ini semua gara2 tension tak tentu pasal... that night I cried and tears heavily... huhuh... I've been wondering what make him so upset and make me as his punching bags. But the nest morning, I fele much more better...

Wednesday...
MOOD: SAD + Happy
still seraching for the stregth to continue my day... I went to clinic and had my routine pap smear done. (This is second time..hehhe just for check up). When I arrived my beloved one try to pujuk2 dengan menggunakan anak2... then, I am back again on tack :)

Thurday...
MOOD: Happy +
I so happy when I arrived , George already do the setting teeth for me... tetiba dapat tahu technician yg baik hati dah tolong buatkan... so Mw and ka ah went there just to final touch in denture process which is the most delicate part... gum work.

Friday..
MOOD: happy ++
morning study dental material... fuh... jgn tak caya. aku rasa daku dah terror bab2 material nie...petang was very boring lecture by Dr lloyd but because I had done my reading, so, I'm quite excited for his lecture.

today...
MOOD: HAPPPY+++
when to bowling centre.. in dundee. spent time with anak2 ngan husband. seronok giler, eventough its tiring. I'm enjoyed naim and najwa too...

boring? soryylah ek... tak pandai sgt nak tulis blog nie..
I just want to practice my writing...

Debt make you sick...!!!

2009-01-23T08:47:00.000-08:00

My family have been around with debt. It started from my father and been inheritant to my siblings and me... ahahha... it making us sick.

I have six sibling and all of them, excluding my eldest sister had been forced (with our permission.. of course) to settle my father's huge debt.
Lets start the chronolgy...
Firstly my second sister. I remember that she had persuaded her husband to agree to buy a car (PROTON) named by my auntie. My father used my auntie's name to make a loan and bought this car. After few years, when my mother had a stroke, my auntie's name been blacklisted. In order to clear up her name, my sister take the risk. It was 5 years ago...

Secondly, my elder brother...
My father bought a apartment without permission from my mom. So, when mom no longer cant go to work, he can't manage to pay the instalment. Pity to my brother, he went back to kampung and lend money from his father in law to replace/buy the apartment. Otherwise, my father could be in the jail right now.

MYself...
not that worse but after been "MAKI" and threaten by the guarantor's of my mother's friend (which obviousely loan with my mother's name but only dad used all the money). I was just 1 year in service, then I applied Bank Rakyat loan to clear up the guarantor's name. ehhehe... it was 15K loan but I pay RM5++ monthly for 4 year. Finally I managed to clear the debt within 4 year. nasib baik my hubby tak bising sgt... and before the last two months payment settle...

it wasn't stop there...
The telephone keep on ringging from the Southern Bank. It was about my father credit card which already exceed 15K. HUUaaarrrgghhhh... all of us sick and thought how to settle the debt. We had big family meeting and the decision been made... DAD should take care of his debt now... but I agreed to give him RM500 a months to help him to clear the credit card because my comitment on the bank rakyat loan almost settle.

let's see how about my other two younger brothers. hehhe both also had the same.
One of them (Abeng), after a confrantation with my mom had agreed to used his name to became a guarantor when by father wanted to buy a lorry. He said he need that lorry to do business on recycle things. And I guess you all know what happened next... and we also had this discussion during the huge meeting. He sufferred because his name already blacklisted by Bank Negara.

Finally...
The youngest (Adik) one had the very tough one. He is an engineer in private sector and work on shore. During the meeting we decided to buy our father's house in Pandamaran by Adik's name. He manage to buy the house with 170K loan. Our father had to agree with us, otherwise none of his children will help him anymore. We pay all his debt (credit card, lorry to clear up Abeng's name)and others debt with people and all the balance we give to him and mother. The balance was around 40K.

My mom decided to deposit the money to Tabung Haji and be ready to perform hajj.
I just hope my father will managed the money wisely.

That was a happy ending. hopefully... :-)

Need to persuade him to go to preschool

2009-01-22T16:48:00.000-08:00

Well, this week already Naim's second week at school. I had a hard time to persuade him. I dont know what is wrong and why he didn't want to go to school.
Today, I bought an aeroplane and show to him.. You can only get this if you go to shool. Finally he wear his sock and agreed.
I stayed for 2 hours at school. Fortunately, Mrs Irving is so cooperative. I think she already got Naim's trust.

Let see what is going to happen tomorrow.

Please Naim. You have impressed your teacher today. Be good tomorrow. hopefully...;)

Ibu pun nak pergi kelas gak nie... dok fikir naim jer... cam maner plak nie...

I never thought I am ...

2009-01-12T15:52:00.000-08:00

fuh..!!! the result of my first exam was disclosed.
I was surprised. I never thought I am going to get A for the module. hehhe...:P
eventhough, the second module I got B, but I am statisfied with the result.
As fas as I'm concerned, the last time I got A for my exam was when I was in Asasi UM. Then, when I'm enrolled in Dental Faculty, I never got a chance to get A, even in my dream.

Last two day I got the result for the LAW AND ETHICs exam. It was an opened book exam where the already disclosed the question before the exam. And my result is.... DISTINCTION. giler tak percaya. you know why i could not believe it... because my English is not that good. budak kampung yang dok belajo kat sekolah agama... bila gi MRSM, malu rasanyer nak banding ngan my roomates. ienna and Mel...

My point is...
I just need to explore myself what are my the true potential.

To those who are always think he/she not good, just try at your very best. and always Believe YOU CAN DO IT. practice make perfect. don't give up.

my motto since I was 11 years old...
Percaya diri sendiri adalah kekuatan diri.

2008-12-27T15:03:00.000-08:00

Bila bertalu,

Rentak di kalbu,

Hasrat yg tersirat semakin kuburu,

Bila bergema laungan gempita

harapan benyala nadiku berganda

Gemuruh jiwa semangat membara

Dari puncak ingin ke Angkasa

Berkalungkan bintang berkerlipan

Menyerlah jauh dari yang biasa

Ucapan ini bukan sekadar bermimpi

Segalanya pasti kan terbukti nanti

When I study, I always start with the first page of my book.
I always wrote on my book: Belajar itu Perjuangan, Perjuagan itu Jihad, Jihad itu Kerana Allah.
This quote had have helped me a lot since I was in secondary school.