Finally...£500

Sedar tak sedar dalam kesibukan aku hendak mendapatkan sponsor for my conference, rupanya dah hampir sebulan aku tak menulis. walaupun banyak event yang berlaku, namun... masa tidak mengizinkan...

Alhamdulillah... setelah 'menghadap' DEKAN, Dundee Dental School, dapat jugak aku £500 untuk buat belanja persidangan yang akan aku hadiri.

Tapi nak menceritakan perjalannan mendapatkan sponsor ini... ADUH!!!!! it cut me really deep.
taubat, lepas ni kalau takde sponsor for my conference, I just pull-out.

Till now, I still dont know where I got the strenght to meet the DEAN.  Maybe because I really need the money...Perhaps!

But that 10-15 minutes appointment was the tough moment that I had, and I will remember that moment forever. I can't really tell how the situation, but... again, it cut me really deep. I told to myself, I won't give up...!!! but then, the after all that I've been through, I won't dare to do it for the second time.

fews 'buzzing' dialogue between me and him...

it is very UNUSUAL for a student to email and meet me like this. (memanglah  unusual, sebab aku dah cuba the usual way, but still negative response)

It is very UNUSUAL for taught degree to present their findings. We only concentrate on research students. (logikkah??? kalau maca tu, baik tak payah suruh MDSc student buat research....)

Can you tell me, why your SV want to send you to this ADEE conference which is unrelated to your topic; dentine sensitivity (blaa.. bla... aku jawab dan berdebat jugaklah ngan dia to justify my topic) pastu dia balas balik, I was surprised the organizer accept your abstract (of courselah abstract aku tu pioneer bidang tu yang tolong edit dan betulkan...lagipon SV aku bukan jenis buat kerja main cincai jer...)

paling aku sedih/pedih bila dia cakap
This topic is not Dundee Dental School's research interest..(bila dia dah cakap macam nie, aku tak boleh lah debate balik... aku hanya diam jer.) dalam hati aku, kalau student MDSc yang dia supervise nak present, agak2 takkan dia tak nak sponosr kot! marah! Geram! Hangin semua ada... maklumlah diorang punya research interest pasal TMJ/neuroscience/dental materials.

Bila sampai satu masa, dia kata takde duit, aku memBERANIkan diri... aku tanya, 'would you give me permission to ask for individual sponsorship from lecturers...? (aku dah siap list nama sapa aku nak minta tunjuk kat dier)
terbeliak mata dia.

setelah beberapa dialog lagi, akhirnya, dia kata dia akan bagi £500...

masa dia cakap dia nak bagi duit, tu... aku pulak jadi emosi. pergi menangis pulak depan dier (what ashamed).. masa tu aku cuma cakap 'TQ very much for that'.

After all, I'm partially funded. But, I'm not sure should I be happy???
May be I shouldn't.   Because at the end of our dialogues, he said again
'I'm not cross with you or your email but I'm cross with your SV, because he didn't give clear guideline about attending/presenting in the conference.'
Pergh!!!! SV aku pulak yang nak disalahkan... sepatutnya dia marahkan aku punya course coordiantor yang tak berapa coordinate tu lah...

Apapun ini politik school. well, tak lama lagi aku akan report duty, perkara2 macam nie kena aku tempuh!

sebagai pengajaran hadisnya:
Aku dah bagitahu kat SV aku apa yang dean cakap, dan dengan selambar jer SV aku ckp... 'you enjoy ur stay in Amsterdam... Don't worry, I can deal with that'. Sambil tersenyum. I hope if he (the dean) bring this matter to him, he will be prepare.

Secondly, aku dah tulis complaint/email, supaya next year, dental school takkan buat same mistake like this year. They should have allocate some money. Give clear guideline so that it won't happen again to the next batch! Nasib lah wahai course coordinator. I'm sorry to do this, but I think it worth for that £20,800 tuition fees per year.

Lastly, my majikan, U***, sepatutnya batalkan ajer klause yang mengatakan kalau nak confirm jawatan, kena ada 'something' present or publish paper, kalau takde duit nak sponsor. Aci tak?

Finally, I will enjoy my stay in Amsterdam... :))